What do I know of Holy

I’ve watched this movie a few times this week called ‘Magdalena, Released from Shame’ (It is put out by the same people who produced the Jesus film). I’ve been watching it in Kurdish and English to prepare me to watch it with a local friend this weekend. It is the story of Mary Magdalene, but it is so much more than that, I was really pleasantly surprised by it. Mary tells the story of Jesus’ life from her point of view and tells how her own story is intertwined in the life of Jesus. She talks a lot about the women Jesus touched and his ministry among women. It struck me so hard living in this culture where women are such second-class citizens and the culture back in Jesus’ day was not so different from this and yet he so radically and compassionately broke the rules to reach out to women around him. She also tells the story of Jesus in the context of the whole Bible and talks about the Old Testament prophets (many of which Christianity and Islam share) and how Jesus is the fulfillment of all of these promises.

I know I’m kind of hormonal anyway right now, but I cried several times throughout this movie. I think besides being so stuck by Jesus’ radical love for these women, it was just realizing again that God’s glory is so huge and His relentless pursuit of His people throughout history is so compelling! I was left thinking about this song I heard several months ago and fell in love with. It is by Addison Road and is called ‘What do I know of Holy?’ The lyrics are below:

I try to hear from heaven but I talk the whole time, I think I’ve made you too small, I never fear you at all. If you touched my face would I know you, look into my eyes could I behold you?

Chorus
What do I know of you who spoke me into motion? Where have I even stood but the shore along your ocean? Are you fire are you fury, are you sacred are you beautiful? So, what do I know, what do I know of holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured you out, I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about how you were mighty to save but those were only empty words on a page, then I caught a glimpse of who you might be, the slightest hint of you brought me down to my knees

Chorus

What do I know of holy? What do I know of him who’s love will heal my shame and the god who gave life it’s name? What do I know of holy of the one who the angles praise all creation knows your name on earth and heaven above what do I know of this love?

Chorus

I was thinking last night as I was praying for many of the things I pray for daily that sometimes I behave as if I really don’t know or fear God at all. I live my life in such a small way and ask God for such small things and believe him for such small things that it seems I must really not know anything about him. I spend so much of time with God thinking about him only in the context of my life and what is immediately before me – it is SO small! This is why it is really good for me to be in the Old Testament (something I haven’t done well lately), because I forget how HUGE and eternal God’s story is and what a small part I actually have in it. I don’t feel belittled or uncared for to realize this… I actually feel really relieved and free! God’s love for those I love, for my family, for the Kurds, for the world He created, has existed eternally and I cannot do anything to change that. If anything, I can learn to love more fully through learning to love like His love. I don’t know if any of this resonates with anyone other than me. It has just been really refreshing to get a bigger glimpse of our God than my small perception. Join me in praising God for His endless love for His creation! May the world see and fully know this Love.

My Prayer for You

My sister sent this to me recently as something she read that she was praying for me. It is easy for me to loose sight of the big picture sometimes. The everydayness of getting things done, fixing stuff that breaks, trying to learn language, figuring out which way I want to go at the Bazar… things that are nothing in comparison to eternity and yet they are more present in my heart and mind most days then the stuff that really matters. I just needed to be reminded, maybe you do too.

The world no longer rules your heart. You are no longer seduced by getting and gaining but devoted to spreading and proclaiming the glory of God in the nations. You live as a pilgrim, unattached to the cares of this world. You are not afraid of loss. You even dare to believe you may be given the privilege of dying to spread His fame on the earth. The Father's passions have become your passions. You find your satisfaction and significance in Him. You believe He is with you always, to the end of life itself. You are sold out to God, and you live for the Lamb. Satan fears you, and the angels applaud you. Your greatest dream is that His Name will be praised in languages never before heard in heaven. Your reward is the look of pure delight you anticipate seeing in His eyes when you lay at His feet the just reward of His suffering: the worship of the redeemed.

What I've been reading

In our One Year Bible we have been reading Acts lately. I love Acts - the birth of the church, I learn so much from it everytime I read it. Paul is pretty compelling, I mean what living person today could say with integrity 'You want to be like Jesus? Then you need to imitate me, just be like me and you will be like Jesus.'? And yet Paul's life after his encounter with Christ was clearly a reflection of that. I read the passage below a few days ago and I haven't been able to get it out of my head. It is from Acts 20. This is Paul speaking to the elders at Ephesus:

18 When they arrived he declared, “You know that from the day I set foot in the province of Asia until now 19 I have done the Lord’s work humbly and with many tears. I have endured the trials that came to me from the plots of the Jews. 20 I never shrank back from telling you what you needed to hear, either publicly or in your homes. 21 I have had one message for Jews and Greeks alike—the necessity of repenting from sin and turning to God, and of having faith in our Lord Jesus.

22 “And now I am bound by the Spirit to go to Jerusalem. I don’t know what awaits me, 23 except that the Holy Spirit tells me in city after city that jail and suffering lie ahead. 24 But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.

25 “And now I know that none of you to whom I have preached the Kingdom will ever see me again. 26 I declare today that I have been faithful. If anyone suffers eternal death, it’s not my fault, 27 for I didn’t shrink from declaring all that God wants you to know.

He goes on to say:

32 “And now I entrust you to God and the message of his grace that is able to build you up and give you an inheritance with all those he has set apart for himself.

33 “I have never coveted anyone’s silver or gold or fine clothes. 34 You know that these hands of mine have worked to supply my own needs and even the needs of those who were with me. 35 And I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”

I can't imagine living that kind of life, where you can say with integrity - if anyone goes to hell, it isn't my fault because I boldly told everyone about God.

I miss evangelism - not the stand on the corner with a tract kind of thing - but the life sharing/imparting with others about the transforming work of God. When I read about Paul imparting the Gospel to others he rarely confrots sin outside of the church, most of the time he is just telling other people about his encounter with Jesus and what he knows to be true about God.

It is that simple. Sometimes it feels really complicated - probably because I make it about myself and what I have to offer instead of about what God has done FOR me that I couldn't do on my own. When I haven't really felt a NEED for God I find that I have little hope or life to impart to anyone else because there is nothing bigger to point to than myself.

I don't really know what the point of this is other than mutual edification and a reminder that "my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God." - Amen