blogworthy moment

Meet Fran.... this is Fran except prettier, real Fran was not this good looking.
ewwwww.... I am still creeped out by what just happened. So, I am innocently reading in my room when all of a sudden I hear this crash followed by this flapping noise -- and I am like 'Oh no you didn't!'
So, first let me explain that our apt is on the top floor of the building where the birds tend to nest, our apt also has a covered balcony that is all closed in by this one big glass wall that has 4 big windows in it. Well, there is no air conditioning here so of course in the summer we leave windows open -- I think you know where this is going.
So, this pigeon messed up and flew into our balcony and trapped itself. Unfortunately I was at home alone which is fine except that no one was present to watch my antics. At first I just watched it through the window hoping it would figure out how to fly out.... well, after about 3 minutes of that it became clear that 'pigeon brained' is an insult for a reason and I was going to have to help it. So I cautiously walked out there and it freaked out and it flew all over the place crashing continually into the glass walls and just missing the actual windows by centimeters. So, I can't get close to it because it is scared... side note -- apparently birds crap when they are scared too ... gross. So, I am talking to it trying to convince it that it can fly out the window and trying to inch towards the other windows to open them. I named it in the course of this, Fran is her name -- poor Fran, she had a rough day. So as I am opening windows trying to better her odds she is freaking out and flying around my head which causes me to freak out so we're both flailing around scared of each other. Somehow in this process Fran gets herself stuck against the wall between the wall and the pipes. So, Fran's just chilling stuck there blinking at me with those big eyes and awkwardly turned head and I am like... 'Fran, your stuck?! Are you kidding me?' So I go and grab a large wooden spoon.... I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it, it just seemed like the appropriate time to have a tool.
So, Fran is still stuck and I am still with spoon inching towards her having now opened all 4 windows and putting down the drying rack to give her more room to fly. She was stuck so she let me get really close and I was about to just grab her and throw her out the window when she suddenly frees herself and flies over my head runs INTO the open window and knocks herself back into the balcony and I am like 'Nah Ah sister, you are not staying here. ' And yes, I was talking out loud to her calling her Fran. So after that Fran just kinda walked around and wasn't trying to fly anymore so we had a little talk about how God made birds to fly and I prayed for her (and myself) and waved the spoon at her, tapped it on the ground, faked her out like I was going to throw the spoon at her (she never fell for that one) and FINALLY about 30 minutes after the intial crash into the balcony, she just jumps up on the window seal and flies out! After which I immediately closed all the windows and did the ewww I am thoroughly creeped out by that dance. So, moral of the story -- naming pigeons doesn't help them fly out the window.

Let me be a woman!!!

Okay.... so I read this book (not by my own personal choice might I add) about a year and a half ago called Let Me Be A Woman by Elizabeth Elliot. I am really embarrassed to say that I pretty much disdained the book and even threw it across the room a few times in the course of reading it. It was during a point in my life where I was really trapped in pride (not that I have outgrown this stage) and thinking I already had the answers and knew who I was. Oh my soul! (in a Georgian accent) if I had only known what God had in store for me. Allow me to explain who I used to be so that the upcoming statements will bear more weight....
I used to play a game (only with an old boyfriend) called 'Erin wins' and the whole premise of the game is that it didn't matter what he said because in the end I was always right unless it happened to be a full moon, in which case he might be right if I was feeling generous.... I know, it's gross.
I also firmly believed that I could do anything that man can do and I could probably do it better, nicer, easier, prettier... you get the idea. And I had no shame in trying and then rejoicing over whatever poor guy had challenged me thinking that I couldn't do it or wouldn't at least try. I really am growing out of this one -- but every now and then....
Another argument I used to have quite frequently was the - I don't need your leadership, but thanks anyway, I am perfectly capable. Another exboyfriend and I used to argue over women in the church and the idea of men being led by a woman. At the time I had no qualms about women in the church and their ability to lead well -- and maybe even better than any man could lead.
And finally, I am really embarrassed to say that it was only a little over a year ago that I had this 'ah-ha moment' where I realized that guys aren't just stupid and wrong about everything but that they are just different because that is how God created them. God didn't just mess up and make guys stupid and insensitive (keep reading men, I promise I will say some redeeming things), but God made man different for a reason.
Now, in light of all that, I have been thinking through what it means that God made me a woman and not a man and what that means for me and for the other men and women I come in contact with. It was not until this past year that I really enjoyed following men around me and setting them up to lead and trusting their complete competence. It was really freeing for me to experience joy in submission and choosing trust and seeing that to follow is not suppression or weakness but it can be a more complete image of Christ to the world.
I have learned a few things (mostly through utter failure - my style of learning) that I want to share with you all as my community of men and women...
First of all, I am really glad that I am not a man! And to the men I want to say THANK YOU for the ways that you have patiently shown me about what being truly masculine is and for making me desire more out of my relationships with men. God did rightfully create you all as men to be the head and to be leaders, initiators, decision makers, protectors, providers, care-givers!!! I wasted a lot of time tearing you all down and finding fault with your leadership instead of setting you (collectively) up to win. Honestly, I am disappointed with the seeming lack of male leadership among my generation. I know there are a lot of us loud, dominating, capable females to crush and suppress -- but this is my plea for you to endure and to keep going and growing!! We really do want to follow and want to set you up as leaders, but I also think that the man needs to show himself worthy -- not to be respected or honored -- but to be supported in leadership and submitted to joyfully. And I believe that as man you all have the God ordained capacity to lead well -- I am praying that the men of this generation would tap into that and reject the lies about what it means to be a man.
Now to the women .... you are not a man -- you are a woman! This is not a statement about status or qualification... it is just truth! For a long time I struggled with my personality and being this 'gentle and quiet' spirit. God has continued to patiently show me that it's freedom to be a woman and follow and submit! I think God has given women a special capacity to nurture, support, love, and encourage. When I stopped trying to exert power in place of love and when I chose to follow instead of try and prove my capability of leading I was surprised to find that I didn't feel less erin or like I was being suppressed but found that it is freedom to serve and freedom to be the bride and receive instead of fighting for headship. So women, find freedom today in how God has created you and I encourage you to seek out and ask God and search the word for what it means to be a feminine representation of Jesus Christ.
Thanks for reading this... I've just been thinking through my journey over the past few years and realizing how far He has brought me from throwing that book across the room and thinking all guys are just stupid to longing to be led and appreciating how God created us uniquely to be different representations of Himself.
Men -- appreciate your manliness and maturity. Women -- being feminine has nothing to do with your personality, make-up bag, or your ability to giggle.


Complimentary means that the differences of male and female will be respected and affirmed and valued. It means that male and female will not try to duplicate each other, but will highlight in each other the unique qualities that make for mutual enrichment. - John Piper

dedicated to my roommates 4-life... they are the coolest gals ever!!! I am one lucky woman -- I mean look at these girls... they are so uh-mazing! I love you all 

Took a walk on these big rocks yesterday ... it was really fun! I <3 Turkey 4-life 

My wonderful friend is leaving the big city to go home to the east and she made me a surprise cake last night!!! It says 'come back quickly Erin! I will miss you and your mom' ... I don't know where she learned that?! 

Making me think

I have been reading some stuff over the past monthish that has made me really stop and think, reflect, pray, hurt, feel conviction, want to be different -- so, I invite you to think, not for the sake of knowledge-- but for the sake of holiness.

If obedience to the will of God be necessary to happiness, and knowledge of his will be necessary to obedience, I know not how he that withholds this knowledge, or delays it, can be said to love his neighbor as himself. He that voluntarily continues ignorance, is guilty of all the crimes which ignorance produces. – Samuel Johnson


The problem of unholy living does not stem from the fact that we desire to use money and time wisely, but fail due to weaknesses of human nature. The problem is that we do not intend to be as responsible and devout as we can. – William Law

No one can fully understand the meaning of singleness as male and female in God's image until they learn from Christ that in the age to come there will be no marriage, and therefore the glorious destiny of being male and female in God's image is not dependent on marriage, but on devotion to the Lord. - John Piper

Rescuing love reaches out to the world. Perhaps there is no more certain mark of a mature spirituality than the way in which those who possess it are able to enter a troubled situation and say, “Peace,” or turn from the exercise of heroic love to meet the humblest needs of men. – Evelyn Underhill

To rescue people from the natural consequences of their behavior is to render them powerless. - Cloud & Townsend (from Boundaries ... I seriously doubt that there is anyone who would not benefit from reading this book -- at least once)

These are my best friends and roommates... that would be jones on the left and AB on the right -- could ya'll BE any hotter?? Thanks for being my friends and for making faces like this 

I've got to stop making faces like this in public ... okay, so I probably won't. trust me, if you had been there and seen the view behind me you would make the same face. okay maybe not ... but it was still pretty amazing 

ahhh... I love it here. This is what I was thinking as I sat on an island right in the middle of Europe and Asia sipping my nescafe. 

Things I've been learning..

I've been on a high learning curve these days -- and by these days, I mean approximately the last year and a half...

• the enemy is not myself, it is Satan.... so, the more time I waste fighting with myself the less effective I am for the kingdom which is reality, not the world.
• our choices will effect the lives of others, it doesn't matter how 'removed' from the situation the other is, community is precisely that.... life together.
• community is fun --- this is a lie, it will not always be fun. Sometimes it will hurt and make you cry but it is always worth it.
• God REALLY is who He say is He and to make Him or even ask Him to be less than that is sin.
• we are not as complex as we would probably like to think that we are... our identity is very simple actually -- we are worshippers, that's all
• when we stop looking at ourselves and look to the Father everything makes more sense -- He must increase, I must decrease.
• it's okay to not always be able to fix what is broken and just move on and laugh in the midst of it
• his grace is always sufficient... it is never lacking and if it feels like I am missing something its because I don't really need what I think I do
• ummm... boundaries are good, but hard. I am still working on this one.... (I promise) see look.... 'No, I can't help you", "No, I don't have time for you or your mom", "Hey, let's make plans ahead of time..." things like this

This picture is called 'The Embrace' by Picasso... it really captures for me what I saw Jesus do tonight to cover his beloved with Himself -- to give His own glory. read the story below for more details. 

The good shepherd

I just got home from a really intense time with a friend and my heart is really heavy with the weight of the glory and goodness of God....
He is the good shepherd who left behind the whole darn flock just to chase after the one sheep who went astray tonight -- I saw Him do it. I am just amazed at the faithfulness and patience of our God that He loves strong enough to hear us say 'I don't love you, I don't believe you, I don't want you' everyday and yet He continues to relentlessly run after us and call us back to Him. And when we choose to return He doesn't hold His love over our heads to remind us of how small our love/faith is, but He runs to meet us and embraces us, covers our faults in His love! Can you believe it? Who is this crazy shepherd that risks the whole flock on the one who ran away.... He is Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, today, and forever -- even when as my friend said tonight 'I am so sure of who God is and then 5 minutes later I don't know Him at all.' I am immobilized tonight under the massive weight of God's character. In the midst of seeing my friend so filled with doubt God came and made me (hopefully both of us) believe even deeper in the truth of His character.
"For thus says the Lord God, 'Behold, I Myself will search for My sheep and seek them out...I will feed my flock and lead them to rest. I will seek the lost, bring back the scattered, bind up the broken and strengthen the sick...'" Ezekiel36:11,15-16

In search for some 'blog-worthy' pictures requested by my sister... I came across this jewel... this is me at my friend's house trying out the 'beauty massager' and let me tell you, there were many laughs to be had by all involved -- just spreading the joy. 

This is me and Michelle playing in the cherry blossom petals ... notice the fanny pack Michelle is wearing -- only she could pull it off and still look hott, props to your mom Michelle 

Dedicated to my roommate Michelle -- she has to live with me everday... and she likes it. 

Being remade at the cross of Jesus

Remake Me at Your Cross
*Phil3:7-10, 2Cor5:6-10&14-17, Gal2:20-21, 2Cor5:21, 1Cor15:31

I keep on fighting myself like the real enemy is me.
My vision is so limited that my heart can’t even see.
If I keep on loosing my own battles, I can’t fight the real war because I’ll have no energy.
It’s a good plan Satan – but I know better.
Better is a little knowledge of God than knowing a whole lot about Him.
Remind me Lord, that I am a new creation because I forget so easily and truth grows dim.
Remake me Jesus, by the power of Your cross I know you can,
Because it meant something when God of the universe chose to become man.
It means I am free, Your life and righteousness now live in me.
Direct my gaze again to the cross that I might find out the truth about who I am.
Not me Jesus, but You alone are the center of everything and the hope of glory.
Suffering cannot steal this joy of truth and to die can only bring new life!
I choose today and the next to throw away the world and cling to You – that is surpassing greatness.

This is Missy and I saying ' I heart Asia' and we do... missying you Jonsey 

things I miss about America .... HEB and more importantly the beautiful Elyse -- she's the one sitting in the cart .... love you leesey 

What am I Doing Here?

Uh...why was I invited here? I, too, HEART community 4-life, but this is your blog, so I don't understand why you would want me here! Can you give me an answer?

I HEART YOU TOO

-J

procrastinating is fun!

Well folks,
Welcome to the blog... its the middle of finals around here and I was thinking 'what ELSE can I do besides study?' You'd be surprised how busy life gets when finals are around the corner.... I mean who knew there was so much to do that can't wait until after my tests are over?! heh, just kidding-ish dad (and other dad-like figures) I will most certainly get all the necessary studying done sometime before the actual exam. Well gotta go to dinner and a movie with some friends ... followed by a massive study session I am sure.

Hi family, I miss you guys a lot -- you're all so pretty! =o) 

This is me at the world's second largest dam ... or so I am told