pigeon problems....

Some of you may remember my last comical encounter with a pigeon - better known as Fran (check the June 05 archives)
Well, this past weekend when Elyse & Stephen came to visit all was wonderful - except for the pigeon...
Jeff & Stephen had gone to check the mail and Elyse & I were just sitting on the couch talking when we hear this really strange noise right outside the door. It sounded like some kind of animal grunting and I began to suspect that the Cat Lady who lives downstairs let her cat out while it was in heat or something...then right when I was about to get up and check outside I hear this loud cooing noise (this was actually Stephen impersonating a bird - but I didn't know he could do that) and wings flapping up against the door. Then the guys come inside and tell us there was a pigeon nesting on the door mat! We all laugh, go out to eat and forget about it.
Well, the next morning we wake up the door mat is in the living room and Stephen & Elyse have been awake since dawn because the pigeon (Elyse named him Potipher) came back. At first Elyse would just open the door and it would fly away, but then it kept coming back and eventually when Elyse would open the door it would just turn it's head all the way around awkwardly and look at her with those creepy, beady eyes like 'What? Get out of my nest.' She had to run at it to get it to fly off the mat so she could take the mat inside. Remove the nest -problem solved right?....
If only it were that simple, it continued to return and make it's cooing, grunting noises ALL DAY long. Jeff finally got his knife out and put it by the door so he could storm it and kill it... no such luck yet.
It has visited us every morning since Saturday. I saw it on my way out the door to work this morning, it was just waiting there at the bottom of the stairs for me to leave so it could return to it's nest. This is baaaad news, I'm thinking about getting some of those big, plastic owls they put inside O's in store signs to keep birds from nesting there and putting them around our door. Any idea where you buy those? Jeff's idea was to break a bunch of glass bottles and leave the shards on the doorstep... pretty sure I have to be able to get in and out the door as well. If you have any pigeon trapping, murdering, or repellant ideas. Let me know, otherwise I might have to bail Jeff out of jail for illegally using his shot gun.

To add to the comedy of the whole thing - we went to the Fort Worth arts festival this weekend and as we were walking down the street a bird crapped on Jeff's arm ... after we had a conversation about being crapped on by birds. I think this one is out to get us - or maybe just Jeff.

blogworthy moment

Meet Fran.... this is Fran except prettier, real Fran was not this good looking.
ewwwww.... I am still creeped out by what just happened. So, I am innocently reading in my room when all of a sudden I hear this crash followed by this flapping noise -- and I am like 'Oh no you didn't!'
So, first let me explain that our apt is on the top floor of the building where the birds tend to nest, our apt also has a covered balcony that is all closed in by this one big glass wall that has 4 big windows in it. Well, there is no air conditioning here so of course in the summer we leave windows open -- I think you know where this is going.
So, this pigeon messed up and flew into our balcony and trapped itself. Unfortunately I was at home alone which is fine except that no one was present to watch my antics. At first I just watched it through the window hoping it would figure out how to fly out.... well, after about 3 minutes of that it became clear that 'pigeon brained' is an insult for a reason and I was going to have to help it. So I cautiously walked out there and it freaked out and it flew all over the place crashing continually into the glass walls and just missing the actual windows by centimeters. So, I can't get close to it because it is scared... side note -- apparently birds crap when they are scared too ... gross. So, I am talking to it trying to convince it that it can fly out the window and trying to inch towards the other windows to open them. I named it in the course of this, Fran is her name -- poor Fran, she had a rough day. So as I am opening windows trying to better her odds she is freaking out and flying around my head which causes me to freak out so we're both flailing around scared of each other. Somehow in this process Fran gets herself stuck against the wall between the wall and the pipes. So, Fran's just chilling stuck there blinking at me with those big eyes and awkwardly turned head and I am like... 'Fran, your stuck?! Are you kidding me?' So I go and grab a large wooden spoon.... I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it, it just seemed like the appropriate time to have a tool.
So, Fran is still stuck and I am still with spoon inching towards her having now opened all 4 windows and putting down the drying rack to give her more room to fly. She was stuck so she let me get really close and I was about to just grab her and throw her out the window when she suddenly frees herself and flies over my head runs INTO the open window and knocks herself back into the balcony and I am like 'Nah Ah sister, you are not staying here. ' And yes, I was talking out loud to her calling her Fran. So after that Fran just kinda walked around and wasn't trying to fly anymore so we had a little talk about how God made birds to fly and I prayed for her (and myself) and waved the spoon at her, tapped it on the ground, faked her out like I was going to throw the spoon at her (she never fell for that one) and FINALLY about 30 minutes after the intial crash into the balcony, she just jumps up on the window seal and flies out! After which I immediately closed all the windows and did the ewww I am thoroughly creeped out by that dance. So, moral of the story -- naming pigeons doesn't help them fly out the window.