Lately

We’ve had some busy days the last few weeks and I’d thought I’d give you a brief glimpse into what’s been going on around here.
Last week all of the kids who were sent to Turkey for heart surgery returned and Shad’s funeral began. Funerals here last about a week and begin as soon as someone dies. I got to see all 4 kids who received surgery and it was great! I was really blessed to be in their homes and hear about their experience in Turkey and see how grateful they are to have healthier children. The youngest child we sent was little 2.5-year-old Roman. I went to his house twice last week and couldn’t believe the improvement. When I saw him before surgery he was always either sleeping or laying in his mom’s lap. He wasn’t very active and didn’t want to play with his brothers. I couldn’t believe that he was the same kid! Now he is riding his tricycle all over the house, wrestling with his brothers, and can hardly sit still. It is beautiful to see childhood restored to these children. I had lunch with another little girl’s family we sent and she is doing wonderfully. She was not able to receive a total correction because of the complexity of her heart problem but the doctors assured us that she would live a long life and be able to have children. She got all dressed up and put makeup on (I think she is 7) and is eating much better now than she was before surgery. She is very small for her age but should be able to gain weight properly now. The oldest child we sent was 16-year-old Lowen. Her parents have known about her heart problem for more than 10 years and have been waiting for the day that she could be healed. It was great to see the gathering of family and neighbors at their home to celebrate her recovery. I only got to see Schwan briefly as his family lives in a village 3 hours away from our city, but he was looking fabulous as he clutched his heart shaped pillow that the kids receive after surgery to help ease some of the pain. We are going to his village this week to see his family and check up on him. I also got to see one of our kids that we sent back in February. Little Lowran is just over a year old and will require another surgery when he is older. His lips and hands still have a blue tint to them and he can’t yet sit up by himself because he is so underweight and doesn’t have control of his muscles. He isn’t crawling or sitting yet, but he is making progress and getting stronger. I’m realizing more and more the dire importance of these children getting heart surgery while they are still babies. Ten-year-old Shad just had to wait too long for his surgery and his body was too weak from 10 years of fighting. The same is true for the kids who have been inoperable. If they had the chance to get surgery when they were babies (both were diagnosed since birth) they wouldn’t be facing the medical hopelessness that they are now.
Shad’s funeral was the first I have attended since we arrived here. They set up a large tent outside the house and all of the women gather there. The body is immediately taken to the mosque and that is where all of the men go. It is culturally appropriate for the women to be very vocal in their expressions of grief. They cry and wail and it is a very corporate event. There were probably over 100 women gathered in the tent when we arrived and it was really heart breaking. It was really encouraging though to see the mom’s of the other children who had been in Turkey with Shad there because they really understood how easily it could have been their child. There were also two moms’ whose children died in Israel awaiting heart surgery there. It grieves us that any of these parents have to go through this and yet I was really blessed to see how they support and care for each other. We’re praying that it won’t always be like this. That on that list of 4,000 kids waiting their turn that they won’t have to wait until it is too late for them. You can be a part of the solution. By making a donation to PLC you are helping to save a child’s life, restoring their childhood, and helping ensure that it is not too late. We’re praying for hope for these families who have faced and are facing medical hopelessness. We know there is a Hope that surpasses our circumstances and cradles us in our grief. Join us in praying Hope for these families today.

My trip to the Salon

It wasn’t my first time to get my hair cut here, but it was the first time I’ve had enough language and knowledge of the culture to really understand and appreciate the whole experience. The salon is in the same building that our office is in. Just to give you a picture of what the ‘salon’ is like, it is a room with a mirror, a counter, a couch, and one salon chair. I guess since there is only one lady who works there it makes sense to only have one chair. The lady who runs this place is fully covered. She covers her head and wears the long shirts to her knees. The first time I went to get my haircut she left me in the salon by myself for about 20 minutes so that she could go to her house and pray because it was time for afternoon prayers.
So, when I showed up yesterday there was quite a crowd… I wish I could have taken a picture of the women there, but it would have been pretty rude! The first woman was dressed from head to toe in sparkly red. She had the traditional Kurdish clothing on and was going to a wedding that evening. She was getting her makeup and hair done for the occasion. Women here REALLY like their makeup, especially for special occasions. The women also think it is beautiful to have really light skin, not their naturally really dark skin (I know, the grass is always greener huh?). So, she only has one shade of powder and it is really light. It requires much caking of the powder to conceal the women’s actual skin coloring. There is also nothing sanitary about make up application. There are no separate wands, or brushes, or cloths. After the make up she did this lady’s hair. They really like big hair here, I mean like 1984. The finishing touches were a can of hairspray and some glitter in her hair. I guess it’s a little bit like getting ready for prom, only with way more sparkles and gold jewelry.
The next lady came in to get her face flossed. I don’t know what you call it actually. You know those people in the mall who do people’s eyebrows with the string. They do that here too, but they don’t stop at the brows, they do the ENTIRE face. I mean cheeks, forehead, chin, lip, and sideburns. I felt pretty bad for this lady as she was grimacing in pain and kept having to wipe tears from her face. I’ve never done the face floss myself, but this lady’s face was bright red afterwards. It pretty much deterred me from ever wanting to experience it though.
So, then it was my turn. They don’t wash your hair here when you get it cut; they just spray it with a bottle. After I explained what I wanted, or tried to anyway, she got right to work. When she wasn’t using the comb to brush my hair she stuck it in her own hair and when she needed to pin up my hair she took the clip out of her own hair to use it in mine. I just had to smile and think about what it would be like if a hairdresser in the states did that. She insisted on drying my hair afterwards and giving me her own style. She is a really good hairdresser and I’ve liked my hair both times she has cut it. I’m not a big fan of her styling, but I never liked how they fixed my hair in the states either. See below for a picture of the finished product. After she was finished the other ladies in the salon exclaimed ‘She looks Kurdish! Now she must speak better Kurdish.’ I couldn’t agree more.

my sneaky husband

I have this strange talent. Nothing double jointed or anything, but I have this thing with wrapped presents. Even when I was little, I would go around the tree shaking all the presents and telling everyone exactly what they were. And more often than not, I was totally right. I've always thought that I should set up a booth beside Santa in the mall and charge kids $0.25 a present for me to shake it and tell them what it was.
This year for my birthday my mom gave me a really pretty engraved Christmas snow globe. I shook it and jokingly said 'You got me a snow globe?'. Then I opened it to indeed find a snow globe. I don't know how I do it, but I do.
Jeff LOVES to buy presents. I think he gets more excited about the presents he buys people than the presents that he receives. He has the hardest time not telling me what he bought me because he is so excited about it. So, yesterday after work I come home and Jeff tells me he wrapped a present for me and I can go shake it, which is unusual because I'm normally not allowed to touch or shake the presents he gives me. So, I go over to the box, and pick it up and it has got to weigh like 10 pounds! So, I'm shaking it and it's unlike anything I've ever felt and the weight seems so evenly distributed but there is something inside that moves without disrupting weight distribution. I'm totally clueless, I can't figure out what it could possibly be (especially what it could possibly be that I would want). Jeff proceeds to laugh hysterically and do a little victory dance because I can't figure it out. Then he tells me that he ducktaped 3 pipe wrenches to the bottom of the box to throw me off...
I told him that I just inherited 3 pipe wrenches since they were in my present. He said that was fine, but when we needed to use them I was responsible for doing the work. So.... what is a pipe wrench anyway? Does it really have something to do with plumbing?

no more nyquil

So, I decided that it must be the Nyquil that makes me crazy after all. Last night we were laying in bed about to go to sleep and I guess Jeff could tell I was kind of restless so he asked me, 'What are you thinking?', my response was something like:
"About safety patrol flags, peanuts, glaciers, doorknobs, hockey, petals, shopping centers, rabbits, pendants, quilting, we need more stamps, who won the debate? ice cream, cleaning out the refrigerator, Kurdish, fire escapes, landslides, what are we going to eat for dinner tomorrow?, where's my phone?, kayaks, girl scouts, meadows, my steering wheel...."
It went on like that for about 4 minutes, during which I think Jeff went to sleep and I decided not to take Nyquil anymore. Yikes!

Office Olympics 2008

So, last week was motivation week at my office. In honor of this, we had an event known as the Office Olympics. You might have thought this only happened on the TV show 'The Office' - but the longer I work here the more I'm convinced that the writers of that show must have at some point also been employed by this company (which shall remain nameless). We kicked off the week with some (manditory) bowling at our annual off site event! My team was the 'West Side Ballers' pronounced...'Ballas'. We even had T-shirts made with big crowns on them, and headbands with a big WB on them - it was the closest I'll ever come to being in a gang (thankfully).

We had an event everyday, the schedule went like this

Monday: Last minute PI (provider invoice). This is the deadline that happens twice a month when all of the doctor's timesheets come in and we have to get them all processed in 2.5 days.

Tuesday:Recycle Bin super shot. basically this is basketball with balls of paper that you had to shoot into a moving trashcan. My team got the silver in this one!

Wednesday: The Name Game. This was a spelling bee of sorts where we had to correctly spell doctor's last names. this can be tricky, especially with Dr. Chrephabodi, or Dr. Llguilar-Sincabanti. My team got the bronze in this.

Thursday: Policy Trivia. This was jepordy with company policy and procedure. My team got bronze in this.

Friday: Chair races. In this event I sat in the chair with my legs up while my teammate was blindfolded and I had to tell her how to get around obsticals - such as paper boxes, bowling pins, etc. My teammate was also our team captain who happens to be the most competitive person I've ever met. She stopped listeneing to me after two 'Right, Left's' and just plowed through all of the obstacles and into a desk. Fortunately, I was not injured, she however tripped over the chair. We missed bronze by 1 second.

Overall in the closing ceremonies we got the bronze... not to shabby.
West Side Ballers - what what!!

pigeon problems....

Some of you may remember my last comical encounter with a pigeon - better known as Fran (check the June 05 archives)
Well, this past weekend when Elyse & Stephen came to visit all was wonderful - except for the pigeon...
Jeff & Stephen had gone to check the mail and Elyse & I were just sitting on the couch talking when we hear this really strange noise right outside the door. It sounded like some kind of animal grunting and I began to suspect that the Cat Lady who lives downstairs let her cat out while it was in heat or something...then right when I was about to get up and check outside I hear this loud cooing noise (this was actually Stephen impersonating a bird - but I didn't know he could do that) and wings flapping up against the door. Then the guys come inside and tell us there was a pigeon nesting on the door mat! We all laugh, go out to eat and forget about it.
Well, the next morning we wake up the door mat is in the living room and Stephen & Elyse have been awake since dawn because the pigeon (Elyse named him Potipher) came back. At first Elyse would just open the door and it would fly away, but then it kept coming back and eventually when Elyse would open the door it would just turn it's head all the way around awkwardly and look at her with those creepy, beady eyes like 'What? Get out of my nest.' She had to run at it to get it to fly off the mat so she could take the mat inside. Remove the nest -problem solved right?....
If only it were that simple, it continued to return and make it's cooing, grunting noises ALL DAY long. Jeff finally got his knife out and put it by the door so he could storm it and kill it... no such luck yet.
It has visited us every morning since Saturday. I saw it on my way out the door to work this morning, it was just waiting there at the bottom of the stairs for me to leave so it could return to it's nest. This is baaaad news, I'm thinking about getting some of those big, plastic owls they put inside O's in store signs to keep birds from nesting there and putting them around our door. Any idea where you buy those? Jeff's idea was to break a bunch of glass bottles and leave the shards on the doorstep... pretty sure I have to be able to get in and out the door as well. If you have any pigeon trapping, murdering, or repellant ideas. Let me know, otherwise I might have to bail Jeff out of jail for illegally using his shot gun.

To add to the comedy of the whole thing - we went to the Fort Worth arts festival this weekend and as we were walking down the street a bird crapped on Jeff's arm ... after we had a conversation about being crapped on by birds. I think this one is out to get us - or maybe just Jeff.

St. Patrick's Day

I’ve never heard the story of St. Patrick before, and want to share it with you in preparation for St. Patrick ’s Day next week. Normally all I meditate on over this day is making sure I have something green on, but this year I want to meditate on the life of this man and how his life tells the story of the worth of Jesus above all else.
St. Patrick was actually a missionary slave. He was captured at age 16 and taken to Ireland where he lived as a slave for the next 6 years. While in captivity he grew in his faith. Patrick also learned the Celtic language and about the Celtic religion of Druidism. After 6 years of slavery he heard a voice in his dreams one night that told him ‘You will return to your own country.’ And a few nights later the voice said ‘See, your ship is ready’ so the next morning he got up, walked 200 miles to the ocean and got on a ship that was waiting for him. After his escape he went to France and joined the monastery where he eventually became a bishop. Again he had a vision where a group from Ireland spoke in one voice asking him to ‘Come.’ Against the wishes of his family, because it was well known that escaped slaves were woven into giant wicker baskets and burned over a fire, he returned to the land of his captivity in hopes of bringing the Gospel. Because he learned language and culture while in captivity, he was able to communicate the Gospel in ways that the Irish could connect with. His life was threatened several times and his death was even decreed, but he kept preaching and finally the King gave him an audience in which he shared the good news and performed some miracles. The King and members of his family became Christians – legend has it this is where Patrick used the shamrock to explain the Trinity. By the time of his death Patrick had converted nearly the entire Island and disproved the Druids they had once followed. This is the prayer of St. Patrick

As I arise today,
may the strength of God pilot me,
the power of God uphold me,
the wisdom of God guide me.
May the eye of God look before me,
the ear of God hear me,
the word of God speak for me.
May the hand of God protect me,
the way of God lie before me,
the shield of God defend me,
the host of God save me.
May Christ shield me today.
Christ with me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down,
Christ when I sit,
Christ when I stand,
Christ in the heart
of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth
of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.
Amen

This story was taken from Stan Park’s article: God’s Redemptive History.

There are several things I find fascinating and convicting about this story. Patrick was captured at such a young age and spent 6 years as a slave not cursing God but growing in his faith and training himself to hear God’s voice. Then when God miraculously frees him and tells him there is a ship waiting for him Patrick just walks out of captivity and heads toward the ocean… for 200 miles. I’m pretty sure after the first 5 I would have decided I was crazy and that there was no ship. I LOVE the things that faith requires from us! God didn’t teleport Patrick to the ocean or tell him exactly how far he would have to go to find the ship, or give him the ships coordinates – he just told him he would be free and that there would be a ship. And Patrick trusted him – for 200 miles and he was not disappointed. THEN he goes to the monastery works his way up and is eventually a bishop when he senses God calling him to return to the land of his captivity. He knows what is at stake and has every reason to NOT return, and he goes anyway. He is NOT initially well received, he suffers at the hands of the people he is trying to reach but he does not give up. There is even an edict issued for his death, which I presume that the King would know something about, and even still he gains an audience with the King and the whole royal family is converted! I have to believe that has something to do with the tremendous amount of suffering that Patrick was subjected to and yet he did not waver or turn back – that says something about the great worth of Jesus above all worldly things.
P.S. – St. Patrick’s Day is March 17, that is next Monday and it is during holy week this year – how appropriate.

good weekend

I just had a really great weekend! But not the kind that makes me dread going to work tomorrow, the kind that makes me excited about moving forward and leaves me feeling refreshed and happy. There wasn't anything eventful about it really, it was just what I needed. On Friday we made dinner and watched Michael Clayton, it is a pretty good movie. And as usual I went to bed early on Friday - I'm alway so tired at the end of the week! I woke up early Saturday because I can't help it and went to go work out at the place in the apartment complex. I worked out way longer than usual because the Obama vs. Clinton debate was on TV and I was intrigued. Then Jeff woke up and we made breakfast and watched the final episodes of season 1 of 24. I decided I don't really like that show, but that's another story. Then I got ready and made a casserole and fruit salad and Jeff made brownie pie and we went to hang out with the soon to be Mr. & Mrs. Ryan McCrady (they are getting married in 3 weeks!). Ryan grilled these massive steaks on the grill - it was INCREDIBLE! Oh yeah! .... sidenote: funny story of Saturday. So, Jeff is in the shower and I'm just picking up around the apartment and I sneezed really loudly and he thought I was screaming so he jumps out the shower with soap all over his face and hair and runs into the bedroom (where I am) and is like 'WHAT'S WRONG?!'... I can't figure out why he thinks I'm hurt so I'm just staring at him and then I realized he thought I was yelling and we laughed hysterically and he got back in the shower. Then today was pretty relaxed, I decided I wanted to paint some pictures for our living room, so I did that while Jeff was watching his mandatory defensive driving video. sidenote: all weekend Jeff was giving me random driving facts like, 'Did you know that there are 18 million vehicles registered in the state of Texas?'. So, I painted a picture, it will be the first of three for the living room, here it is:

We also went for a walk today, because the weather was BEAUTIFUL! While we were walking we found this old softball field and I was reminding Jeff of how we used to go play softball after school just for fun. We ended up going back to the apt and getting bats and gloves and going to the store to buy some balls. We went back to the field and had so much fun playing catch and hitting, or swinging if you are me. =o)
Tonight I was just relaxing and thinking about how happiness is a choice. This isn't anything revolutionary, it is just easy for me to allow myself to become a victim of my circumstances and not CHOOSE my attitude. I'm really happy this weekend and excited about my job, going to First Baptist Arlington, meeting new people, being a wife and building our life together. AND I got my haircut last week! It's not a 'cute married haircut' (case in point: Chelsea) but it is shorter than it has been, and I have a new love/hate relationship with my bangs. Here's a picture of the hair:

Jeff is cracking me up, he is sitting here talking defensive driving, 'Did you know Texas has the most bridges in the United States?...WOW, there are 301,000 miles of roads in Texas.'

burrrrr

It is funny how we (meaning Texans) don't know what to do when it freezes. Work was cancelled yesterday and then I got to come in late and leave early today. I find myself getting in the car and then screaming until I warm up - usually takes about a minute. When I was going to school in Turkey I lived at the bottom of a HUGE hill and even when it snowed and iced and sleeted they didn't cancel class AND the school was located on the bottom of a rather large hill. I would wake up, look out the window and cancel class myself because I was too wussy to brave the hills. I called my sister who is up in PA right now - nope, she still had to work. I love Texas, really I do. I think we are pretty funny. Like yesterday my roommates got big tupperware lids and tried to slide down a bridge and then when that didn't work they watered the marina hill and waited for it to freeze so they could slide down it - also, didn't work. But we're funny huh?

Living More With Less

I've been spending this month meditating on, learning about, and trying to practice simplicity in my life. First of all let me dismiss the myth that living more simply is simple because that is just not true. It takes a lot of intention, time, and discipline. Because our world is so fast paced, convenient, and impersonal, trying to go against the flow is really hard! I got this book, 'Living More With Less' and have read about half of it so far. It is really incredible, it was written by a Mennonite woman who compiled stories and testamonies from around the globe of people who have chosen simplicity out of their desire to honor Christ in all things. One of the biggest things so far that this book has helped me hold onto is that my life, my every day decisions make a WORLD of difference. I am not going to change the world by my life and that is not the point; but every time I choose to do something like walk instead of drive, buy with integrity by not giving money to companies that don't pay their laborers a living wage or have poor working conditions, or the thousands of other choices I make that honor others and God above myself and my comfort -- this is obedience. The earth is the Lord's and all it contains -- this means something to me like it hasn't before. This is something I am still definately growing in, but it has been really freeing to let go of some of the things that I feel like I 'need' but really they only detract from the things that are better. I wrote this the other night as a kind of response to all these things that I am feeling and thinking.

One -- a single unit all alone
self contained and fulfilled
not knowing others or being known.
I don't need you in order to be me
I already decided who I am
and I am just fine -- can't you see?

'How appalling!' -- 'Why, how rude!'
'that is not me' we say assuredly.
But lives may say otherwise from our clothes to our food.
My momentary choices may seem small
like how I spend my time
or the things that I buy at the mall.

We are consumers and as such we say
who and what we stand for
in our manner of living every day.
I can't quite wrap my mind around
how my choices will affect the world
when they don't feel heavy or make a sound
It's not that I am so important and neat
but that I am not an island, so
when I take what could be yours it makes me a cheat.

To love mercy and do justice is no simple task
It takes awareness, intention, and death to myself.
But then, united, we can in God's glory bask!
I need you so I can be a better me,
because without you my joy is incomplete.
Thank you Jesus for the global Body that can't work independently.

My Friend

Let me tell you a story about a friend of mine... it is not so much a story as it is quotes from him and dialogue about his life. He is an encouragement to me because God has really changed him and with every letter I get from him I am more convinced of this. Briefly, his story is kind of like this: he was on the streets for a while and had done some time in jail and then got out of jail and was back on the streets and that was when I met him about 7 months ago. He was real tough and had a big chip on his shoulder to just about everyone. Me and my roommates started spending some time with him and getting to know him and his story. He lived with a prostitute for 10 years and had been into drugs and alcohol and was just dissatisfied with life. He was very hungry for God and we talked a lot about it and went to church together whenever we could. Well, one day he decided to turn himself in even though he had found a job and a place to stay he felt like that was what he needed to do to be obedient to God since he had money he owed for probation. So, he went to jail about 5 months ago. I got to go visit him a feew times before I left for the summer and even though he had some encouraging things to say about God sometimes I felt like overall he still wasn't getting it and was getting way too caught up in me and my roommates. The letters I got from him at first were kind of disturbing and inappropriate. We kept writing all summer and he went to the state prison about a month ago. It was maybe the best thing that ever happened to him. Since he has been in prison and unable to have visitors and has had regular chapel services God has really transformed him. I got a letter from him today and we wrote this: "Bless you prison, for having been in my life, for it is here that I have learned that the meaning of earthly existence lies, not as we have grown used to thinking, in prospering, but in the development of the soul. Bless you prison, for it is here that I learned to see justice in the way that Amos and Micah and Jeremiah and Isaiah saw it." He also quoted Joseph somebody and wrote this: "I need courage not just because I may fall on my face or worse but others seeing me a sorry spectacle if it should happen will say ' he didn't know what he was doing' or, 'he's foolhardy.' When it comes right down to it Lord, I choose to be your failure before anyone else's success. Keep me from reneging on my choice."
My friend has also been quoting whole chapters from the Bible that he's been reading and what God is speaking to Him. It is just real exciting to see where God has brought him and the ways that God loves and redeems life even when it may seem unredeemable. That is why I want to abolish the death penalty.... but that is another soapbox. =o)

on the road again

well, sorry it's been so long since the last update. Apparently, I had this dream about having all this free time or something. I am in H-town now about to drive to New Jersey with my sister to get her moved in. So I drove a U-haul up here from Corpus and thought I was going to make it scott free when I backed OVER a 2 foot metal pole... I mean on top of it. The truck wouldn't even drive so we had to call a tow truck and get it to lift the truck up like an inch and move it over another inch. So, 1 metal pole, a pentecostal reverand, his friend the tow truck man, a few inches, and $80 later we were on our way again. When my dad asked what the moral of the story was I told him "never put a u-haul in reverse" ... I mean you can't see anything directly behind you unless it is at least 5 feet tall, that puts a lot of small people in danger.
I am really pumped about the road trip, I love being in the car, and my sister just made her first big purchase and got herself a brand new 2006 Jetta with xm radio and lots of other shiny things. Haha, we both graduate and she buys herself a car and I buy myself a laptop, we're in totally different ball games here!
Been doing a lot of summer reading. I read 'The Poisonwood Bible' by: Barbara Kingsolver, and that is a really great book, I really enjoyed it as a work of fiction. I also read 'To Own a Dragon' by: Donald Miller and that was also a good book... not my favorite of his, but that's probably because he wrote it to guys without dads.
I am currently reading 'Nickled and Dimed" by: Barbara someone and "Humility" by: Andrew Murray. I think everyone in America should have to read Nickled and Dimed, I am not really sure how you enforce that other than giving everyone a copy at their birth and letting them know there will be a mandatory test at age 15 or something. But seriously, it is a really great book for helping to learn about the economic system in America and the low wage system. The Murray book is INCREDIBLE. The biggest sin I struggle with daily (as everyone who knows me on any level can attest to) is pride and this book has been sooooooooooo great in unpacking humility in the life of Jesus. It has brought such freedom and joy and I am only on chapter 4. I wish I could make a mandatory reading list and force read people -- unrealistic? Maybe... well, gotta run but hopefully it won't be so long before my next update. If you haven't seen me in a while here's a pic from this summer annnnnnnd just wanted to let everyone know I am going to dinner at the melting pot tomorrow night!!! I've never been.... real excited though!

can i get a witness?

I've seen some pretty amazing things in the last few days/weeks that I just gotta testify about! I have been really humbled by God's answer to my somewhat prideful asking of "Where is Your power?" About a month ago I started to feel discouraged about the seeming lack of power/ life transformation that happened in the lives of my friends. I was getting lots of opportunities to share the good news and speak truth over the lives of people but just felt like the power was lacking. I wanted to see the Sauls become Pauls and be radically transformed by an encounter with Jesus.
It was then that God began to speak to my heart about the patience of love, the humility of love, the gentleness of love -- it is not demanding or pushy. This is hard for me, I want to see a response and some kind of measurable change in my friends... God doesn't work like that.
So, this week I saw a client and to protect her privacy I will be as discrete as possible -- she has been addicted to crystal meth for 2 years, she has 2 children that are under 13 that 'take care of her'. Her fiance went to jail in January and since then she has been on multiple 9 day drug binges where she can't function without passing out. Meth was the only thing that got her through the day. She turned to another man for comfort while her fiance was in jail and she was pregnant. She was so scared about being pregnant she cried for almost 2 straight hours as we discussed her options. All she wanted was an abortion, she couldn't keep the baby because if she did, her fiance is supposed to get out of jail soon and he would kill her when he found out it was another man's. She knew she had done a lot of drugs and that it was impossible that damage could not be done to the baby. We talked for a long time not only about her options but mostly about a God who loves her and wants to free and redeem her life. She wept over her sin but just wasn't ready to receive grace, she couldn't believe that God could not have a tainted view of her after all she'd done. She let me pray for her and we read some scripture and then she left the center not sure what she would do anymore but promising to return the next day. She came back and through the course of an ultrasound appointment she changed her mind about the abortion, decided that she wants to seek treatment for drugs and she had been clean since we talked the day before. And above all of that she received the good news and Jesus brought such freedom to her life that she was able to face the future confident that this child was a gift and not a curse and that God would care for her and her baby. The nurse described it as 'a revival in the ultrasound room'.
I have a couple friends that have gone to jail in the last month. Me and AB went to see them last night and it is just really cool to see how God is moving and drawing and wooing without me doing anything. I can visit for 20 minutes every week and send a letter once a week, but since this one guy has been in jail it has helped a lot with not confusing me with God. He goes to trial next week and could potentially face up to 4 years and he has more confidence than I have ever seen in him, he has more peace and I would even say joy than I have seen in him since we met a few months ago. It shouldn't surprise me that the power of God comes when I move out of the way, or when He moves me out of the way. But it has just been really encouraging and exciting to see hope flood into the lives of people who were dead and who are facing seemingly terrible circumstances and yet have found God in the midst of them.
The lives of these people have continued to teach me that suffering paves the way to joy and hope more beautifully and solidly than any pleasure or fleeting feeling ever could! I am still learning how to daily embrace this in my own life but I am really thankful for the faithfulness of God to show me He is the one that causes growth and that He CARES for His people like I never could. I think I sometimes let myself feel like I am in this by myself and God sure needs me.... lie, obviously, but sometimes when I make it about me it sure feels true.
Anyway, just wanted to share about the super exciting and refreshing ways I have seen the movement of God around me this week.

blogworthy moment

Meet Fran.... this is Fran except prettier, real Fran was not this good looking.
ewwwww.... I am still creeped out by what just happened. So, I am innocently reading in my room when all of a sudden I hear this crash followed by this flapping noise -- and I am like 'Oh no you didn't!'
So, first let me explain that our apt is on the top floor of the building where the birds tend to nest, our apt also has a covered balcony that is all closed in by this one big glass wall that has 4 big windows in it. Well, there is no air conditioning here so of course in the summer we leave windows open -- I think you know where this is going.
So, this pigeon messed up and flew into our balcony and trapped itself. Unfortunately I was at home alone which is fine except that no one was present to watch my antics. At first I just watched it through the window hoping it would figure out how to fly out.... well, after about 3 minutes of that it became clear that 'pigeon brained' is an insult for a reason and I was going to have to help it. So I cautiously walked out there and it freaked out and it flew all over the place crashing continually into the glass walls and just missing the actual windows by centimeters. So, I can't get close to it because it is scared... side note -- apparently birds crap when they are scared too ... gross. So, I am talking to it trying to convince it that it can fly out the window and trying to inch towards the other windows to open them. I named it in the course of this, Fran is her name -- poor Fran, she had a rough day. So as I am opening windows trying to better her odds she is freaking out and flying around my head which causes me to freak out so we're both flailing around scared of each other. Somehow in this process Fran gets herself stuck against the wall between the wall and the pipes. So, Fran's just chilling stuck there blinking at me with those big eyes and awkwardly turned head and I am like... 'Fran, your stuck?! Are you kidding me?' So I go and grab a large wooden spoon.... I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it, it just seemed like the appropriate time to have a tool.
So, Fran is still stuck and I am still with spoon inching towards her having now opened all 4 windows and putting down the drying rack to give her more room to fly. She was stuck so she let me get really close and I was about to just grab her and throw her out the window when she suddenly frees herself and flies over my head runs INTO the open window and knocks herself back into the balcony and I am like 'Nah Ah sister, you are not staying here. ' And yes, I was talking out loud to her calling her Fran. So after that Fran just kinda walked around and wasn't trying to fly anymore so we had a little talk about how God made birds to fly and I prayed for her (and myself) and waved the spoon at her, tapped it on the ground, faked her out like I was going to throw the spoon at her (she never fell for that one) and FINALLY about 30 minutes after the intial crash into the balcony, she just jumps up on the window seal and flies out! After which I immediately closed all the windows and did the ewww I am thoroughly creeped out by that dance. So, moral of the story -- naming pigeons doesn't help them fly out the window.