Front Porch Swing

I was sitting on the swing at the Addison's house the other night just praying and listening and this is what I wrote...


The temperature outside is perfect, there is just barely a breeze and the air smells like freshly cut grass. The gentle rumble of thunder sounds in the distance along with flashes of lightning illuminated behind the setting sun. The frogs, crickets, cicadas and the fluttering of wings form their own chorus around me. The pond ripples in the distance and the faint quacking of ducks rises above the water. And here I sit, just an audience to this perfect July evening. Only, there is a heaviness weighing around me that makes every noise seem louder and a little bit threatening. This phrase keeps orbiting around in my brain reverberating off of my heart and not finding its home in my soul … ‘To live is Christ and to die is gain.’ The weight it carries with it makes the insect chorus around me seem like a chanting to some unknown climax. I came out here to sit on this swing and find a refuge in this wilderness and now I’m wondering if we are friends or foes. Afraid – that is what I feel, grasping – like I’m reaching for something I am not sure I could hold on to even if I could touch it. I can’t be in control, I don’t get to direct the choir around me and I won’t know ultimately if we can be friends. Lord, I don’t know what else to say except it is YOURS. The Earth is your footstool and yet you count the hairs on my head. There is pain, confusion, uncertainty, some fear, and lots of faith and hope in Your Supreme goodness.
I am inspired by the lives of the Saints, saints like Paul – Paul Saxon and Paul formerly known as Saul. They both endured pain and suffering I can’t even wrap my mind around and yet there was a simple trust in Your provision for them and the ultimate goodness of Your love towards your children that spurred them onward. I am in awe of the way their lives and their deaths point toward the indescribable worth of Jesus Christ in all things.
Is there a storm coming? Is that the tension that hangs in the air? I don’t know … and that is okay because right now all that matters is joining in the chorus around me to worship the Creator of the Universe.