1.5 years

I just looked at my ical today and realized that today is 18 months that we have been married. Doesn't it seem like WAY longer than that?! =) I can't believe that this year when we celebrate our 2 year anniversary we will have a baby! These last 6 months have been really difficult and really wonderful. I'm so glad that you chose me and I'm grateful for the husband that you are. I'm so excited for you to get to be a daddy soon. I love you honey and will never forget how fabulous this day was!

Honesty

I think I'm about to tell you the truth... I hope you can handle it. =)

Life here has been pretty difficult the last weekish or so. I (Erin) cried for about 2 hours last night and even though I don't wish we were back in America I didn't want to be here. However, location is not the issue, not having water (which we haven't since Saturday with the exception of 1 day), not getting electricity from the government, not being able to make the washing machine work, almost setting the kitchen on fire when I tried to re-heat dinner, being unable to do anything without a lot of assistance.... these are not the issues. They are the things that have been pressing in on us and compounding the frustration, but that is the thing about getting uncomfortable and being out of control... it squeezes out of you all of the things that are buried deep inside, the things you don't want anyone else to see.

The only thing that could calm me down last night was playing some worship songs that are really close to my heart that speak the kind of truth I can't always hear through the noise of my own life. Songs like 'Holy you are still holy even when the darkness surrounds my life. Sovereign you are still sovereign even when confusion is blinding my eyes. Lord, I don't deserve your kind affection and my unbelief has kept me from your touch. I want my life to be a pure reflection of your love. So, I come into your chamber and I dance at your feet Lord, you are my savior and I'm at your mercy all that has been in my life until now, it all belongs to you. For you are still holy.' I had this vision the other night of being this hard ball of clay that was being molded... it was the kind that was so cold and almost like rock that it hurt your hands to try and soften it, but slowly it was warming up and becoming softer and able to be molded. I think that is me right now and the state of my heart.

I don't mean for this to sound all dark and painful, although I have felt much of that lately. I feel a lot of hope and joy too. I'm grateful for the hands that push and break and mold until I am soft and able to be yielded to whatever those hands want to make me into. I ask that you would be praying for Jeff & I in these coming weeks and months. Our time here is too precious, and the work at hand too urgent to waste our time and energy being angry, frustrated, rebellious, and a number of other very unproductive emotions. I feel kind of silly being so frustrated about worldly things when we are dealing every day with families whose children are sick and dying and in need of a heart surgery they may or may not receive. But as I was praying last night I just felt from the Lord that suffering is exactly that - suffering. If it wasn't hard and uncomfortable there would be nothing remarkable about joy in the midst of it. Having to choose joy instead of anger or frustration will likely be a daily (sometimes hourly) choice for me for a while. And for now, that is enough. Knowing that His mercy is new, His grace is sufficient and even when my circumstances don't change - He is still holy.

That's all I have the energy for now. But I've got some great pictures to post of some crazy things we've seen here. I'll try to get that posted in a few days. Thanks for your prayers and for caring about our transition. We have a lot of hope right now for what God has in store for us.

Old Cake

I forgot to post these pics in the previous anniversary pics. Since we were out of town on our actual anniversary, we decided to eat the top of our wedding cake on Christmas. I wasn't convinced that it would actually be good.


Here's the year old cake.... and the verdict...


Surprisingly, it was actually REALLY good. If I had this cake at someone elses wedding, I would think it was really good. I'm not sure where this tradition came from, the idea of eating year old cake is kind of gross? But fortunately, the cake itself was pretty good!

Back in Action!

Well, that is kind of misleading because we've never really been missing in action, just not anywhere with a good enough internet connection to post on the blog... until now. I have all kinds of posts bottled up inside, so I'll try to not go too overboard. and I'll start with the most exciting.... our 1 year anniversary!!

On December 28th one year ago we were married! We got to go to New York City this year because we were already up in PA visiting Elyse and Stephen. It was such a fun and memorable way to spend our first anniversary and our last vacation for a while! Here are some pics of the occasion.


That morning we went to worship at the Brooklyn Tabernacle. I have always wanted to go there and I'm so glad that we did! It was such a sweet experience - and the choir is just incredible, even beyond my pretty lofty expectations. This pic is in front of the Brooklyn Bridge... we're kind of in front of it though.

After church we went to Joe's Shanghai Kitchen in Chinatown for the most amazing Chinese food ever... I mean really, people from China come to New York to eat here. I did take a video with our new, awesome video camera that Elyse & Stephen gave us... but I haven't taken the time yet to figure out how to upload stuff yet.

Then after some shopping we went to Rockefeller Center to see all of the lights and the big tree! it was beautiful!


That night we went to the Wax Museum, which was so fun!

Oh Hugh...

All in all, it was a fabulous day and a wonderful anniversary. Below is the gift that I gave Jeff for our anniversary. It is a poem that I wrote for him.... it is kind of sappy, so reader beware.

To Jeff on our first anniversary, this is how I have treasured our marriage thus far:

It is in those first moments before I am fully awake
When the dreams of us still linger and the sleep I can’t quite shake.
I can hear your steady breathing and you find me in the sheets

When you are kissing me goodbye and you nuzzle your head into my neck.
Listening to you pray for me as I slowly drift to sleep.
This year has been full of challenges and full of smiles too.
I wasn’t sure what to expect but I knew I was right about you.

Like when you know exactly what I want or need…
And when you don’t and I’m upset, but you listen patiently.
When your eyes tell me everything before you’ve even said a word,
And the way you say my name is the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard.

How you want to be mad at me and then I smile and you forget,
It’s those fleeting glances and the things that we keep secret.
This year has been full of love and full of heavy hearts.

All the things I’ve learned about you no one else can know about.
And the woman that you’re certain that you just can’t live without.
It’s how you hold my hand and lead me up the stairs,
Or the way our love blossoms out of deep sorrow and through tears.

Tickling till you fall of the bed and rushing to you after you hit your head.
It’s yelling till you slam the door and crying till you’re back for more.
Or the way you call me ‘beautiful’ even when I don’t believe you.
This year has been full of fear and full of memories we’ll always hold dear.

No matter what the future holds there’s one thing that sustains me –
Knowing that the God who promised is the God who will
Work out His grace in us and His life through us fulfill.
Glory be to Him who holds us both together
This year has been full of blessings that I know we’ll keep forever.


I love you Jeff, looking forward to many years to come.

A Great few days!

We had a fabulous time in Salado and are ready to dive into all the events of this week. Here are some pics of our time:


Here's the B&B we stayed at. I highly recommend it, I think the only thing we might do different is stay in the cottage next time (which isn't attached to the house). There were some crazy drunk ladies that came in late one night singing 'The Hills are Alive' and other Sound of Music Tunes...which under other circumstances I might have enjoyed.





This was our room. Isn't it adorable? It had a little old fashioned stove and a big claw foot bathtub, and a cute little porch with rocking chairs it was awesome!


We had dinner at the Stagecoach Inn the first night and it was great! They had orange roughy which I haven't had in YEARS, but it was something my grandma used to make before she got sick and it tasted just like how she used to make it!


Jeff bought the new Monopoly World Edition before we left and so we played a few times. It was pretty fun, or at least the second time around when I totally tore Jeff up it was fun =) Jeff really enjoyed being the banker!





Friday, we went to Mother Neff State Park and did some hiking and sight seeing. The park wasn't nearly as big as I thought it would be, but it was still really fun and relaxing. Pictures not included, the one where Jeff almost drove his truck into the river and got stuck on the bank, and the one of the park ranger leaf blowing....that's right, he was leaf blowing in a state park.



Then Saturday we came back just in time for Jeff to grill at Woodway's college tailgate and we got to meet up with some friends at Common Grounds while the game was going on.

Now, we are about to go to the zoo with our Sunday school class and then grill out at Cameron Park afterwards. It has been a WONDERFUL few days and we're pumped for Global Celebration at Woodway this week! It was great to speak to Sunday School classes today and to see Jeremy who is back from Iraq for this week!

Exciting Days ahead!

We have been all over lately, and the travels will continue! We are leaving tonight to go to Tulsa and then meet up with my mom and drive to Bartlesville, OK. That is where my grandparents' house is. We are going to be cleaning up the house and moving out all of the stuff my family wants to keep. We are getting ready to have an estate sale this summer. This is the house that my Papa designed and built and my mom grew up in. I have lots of great memories there and will be sad to see it go. On Sunday Jeff is flying to Phoenix for Candidate School! It will be a time of training, learning, and meeting lots of great people who will be scattered all over the world in hopes of sharing the Good News. I will be joining Jeff on Thursday for 1 week of candidate school - he'll be there the full 2 weeks. We ask that you would be praying for us as we meet with counselors and trusted advisors about our future, our family, and moving overseas soon. Having been through candidate school as a single before, and I know that it will be a time of refining, being challenged, encouraged, and intensely seeking God's face. I'm a little nervious about only being married for 5 months and being under a pretty intense microscope - but I really want anything that we need to deal with to surface and be addressed. We're really excited about it and are grateful for your prayers through this time. We will let you know how it goes!

Reflections on 100 days...

Well, not to overwhelm you with lots of posts this week (this is Erin), I guess Spring is bringing us out of hibernation. Today is 100 days that we have been married. It seems longer and shorter at the same time - but I think mostly longer =o). I started looking back at my journal a couple weeks ago and reflecting on all I've 'learned' (I use this word really loosely, we are on a really high learning curve) since we've been married. I thought I would share with you all, and Jeff might add some of his reflections at the end.

- respond in thankfulness, to God and to my husband

- when in doubt, choose grace, love or patience (preferably all of them)

- Proverbs 1:33, don't fall into the trap of complacency - it is deceptively easy, but it will steal your joy and replace it with fear.

- seek FIRST the Kingdom, before anything else - or I'm pretty worthless

- fear the Lord! A healthy fear of God can help you respect your spouse.

- From my journal on 2/7 "If there was ever any doubt, I'm definitely married to the most wonderful man in the whole world."

- Jeff is my ally, Satan is my enemy.

- Being Mrs. Priour is a lot like being Erin Walker, but it is still vastly different ... and that is okay.

- I need to be able to find beauty/romance in the everydayness of life

- Every day is an opportunity to worship and no one can steal that away without my consent.

- the entirety of the Bible is like one long list of reasons why God should have destroyed everyone and instead He made a path for forgiveness - proving that love ALWAYS wins

- Jeff is hilarious, beyond generous, and SO fun to be with every day

- Pray! There can be no victory where there is no prayer

- Marriage kicks dating's ass (there really is no better way to say that)

- some 'things' don't always come naturally - I mean, it takes some practice (I'm being purposely vague)

- Shut your mouth! Seriously! It is not necessary for me to express every single time my feelings get hurt.

- laughter and sense of humor are absolutely necessary.

- I have the capacity to hate and love in the same moment, but like Jesus said 'blessing and cursing should not come out of the same mouth' I must choose.

- 'To learn you must love discipline, it is stupid to hate correction' Proverbs12:1. Jeff can sharpen me if I will be soft and moldable and accept correction.

- I snore sometimes. Jeff even recorded it because I didn't believe him.

These are Jeff's reflections:

- Every moment you have a choice to make about your attitude, words, actions, and feelings.

- The hard times do not compare to how great the good times are!

- Everyday is an opportunity o make life long memories.

Please feel free to share your own reflections and lessons you have learned.

My New Family

Last weekend we went to Jeff's annual family reunion. I've never been to a family reunion before - unless this past Thanksgiving counts - cause there are only 8 of my family members still living and it would be a pretty small affair. So, I wasn't really sure what to expect, but it was SO fun!!! We had a great time and it is crazy how huge Jeff's family is. His dad is one of 8 siblings and his dad's dad is one of 7 - so you do the math. I think there was something like 105 people there! They had a skeet shoot, Johnny (Jeff's Dad) won 1st place and Jeff came in a very close 2nd!


This is Jeff's Dad & Paw Paw at the shoot

Then we went to a big dinner and there was a dance and everything! It was really fun!

Playing with the fake sheep at the restaurant


cow roping....pulling


Me & the Hus


The Priours! =)


me & Jeff at his Uncle's house on his birthday!!! He's a quarter of a century old now!

the flood....

Well - 2 days after we moved into our new apartment.... just enough time to unpack everything - our hot water heater busted and flooded our apartment. I woke up at 2 am the night before I was starting my job and Jeff was starting school to the sound of a waterfall. So, I woke Jeff up to figure out where that water was coming from. When he stepped out of bed he was ankle deep in water - apparently the heater had busted a few hours before and our apartment had been flooding for a while.
Anyway, we stayed in a hotel for a couple days while everything dried out and they replaced the carpet pad but will be ripping up all the carpet and flooring this week to replace it. Fortunately, there really wasn't that much damage, not enough to cover the insurance deductible anyway.
I told Jeff this has to happen to everyone once, so hopefully that will be our one time and we won't have to do this again =o)
My first week of work went well, except for being very tired the first few days! I'm learning pretty quickly and looking forward to being fully trained. School has been fine for Jeff, he has some friends in his classes and he's feeling pretty good about the semester.
We started going to First Arlington a few weeks ago and have REALLY enjoyed it! We're excited about getting plugged in there and making some friends = )
Here's some pics of the week:

It has been REALLY cold this week, so we decided to use our fireplace and make some smores.... yum.





My husband is adorable!

In an unrelated note: I got a lot of cookbooks for the wedding - cool right? I thought so, but so far I've made some pretty unimpressive dishes (maybe option overload or something)... I feel bad for Jeff, he's a sport and eats them - but he decided he's in charge of dinner this week.

weekender retreat

Last weekend Jeff & I went on a pre marital retreat with Legacy Family Ministries - it was GREAT! I really wasn't initially looking forward to it - I'm one of those people that always hated retreats, especially ones with a bunch of random people I've never met and will probably never see again. Fortunately, Anna Beth & Keith went with us and that was WONDERFUL! It was really good for us to get to spend time with them. I'm so proud of them for the ways they have chosen to respond to everything that has happened recently and not that my stamp means anything, but I TOTALLY approve them for marriage =o) So - back to why this weekend was great:
I've known (and probably the watching world has too) for a while that I have some pride, selfishness, and overall filth in my life that does not contribute to my future spouse's wholeness. I've finally repented over that. It is one thing to acknowledge, to confess even, but to really feel the weight of that and what it does to our relationship was good for me. I think that 80% of the conflict we have could be alleviated if not totally eliminated if I would choose humility and love instead of pride and selfishness. Byron gave a great talk about this - he had this great black and white picture of Carla in her wedding dress and talked about how as she walked down the isle he thought to himself 'this is going to be easy!'. He had no idea how their son would battle cancer as a toddler for 2 years and all of the hardship they would face together and as a family. As he shared about ideals and how we all go into marriage with this idea about who our spouse should be, what marriage should be like, the expectations we've been building for a lifetime.... it really is necessary to tear those things down in order to hold on to the person. As he shared this he ripped up the picture of Carla on their wedding day and talked about how he could choose to hold on to the ideal and be unhappy that they haven't reached it or he could rip it up and hold on to Carla the person. I mean after all isn't that what God did for us? He could have held us to the unreachable ideal and punished us all for not being who He created us to be, but instead he ripped up that ideal in Jesus Christ so that He could hold on to us as we are. And I have the same choice in front of me for the rest of my life. I can tear apart Jeff for his 'failures' to meet my expectations, or I can rip up the ideal to hold on to Jeff just as he is, even when it isn't what I expected. I'm so excited about that and so necessarily humbled. Jeff has graciously forgiven me and I think we love each other even more coming out of this weekend. I can't wait to get married!!! Only 6.5 more weeks! =o)