At Your Feet

It is true cause I am watching it unfold right now.
Trying to save, protect and preserve my life leads only to death.
How did I get here? Who fenced me in?
I did - when I built walls to keep you out I closed myself in too.
This isn't what I wanted! Let me outta here!
There's only one way out and I'm looking at it asking 'how?'
I WANT abundant life, peace, and freedom, but at what price?
Cause the only way I see is to die.
I can't leave any room for self or I'll end up back here again trying to claw my way over these walls.
I can't do it! It's too much!
'Let it go' He says to every objection I make.
Submission - a recognition of Authority and a choice to humbly lay down under it.
That's the only way to keep the walls down -- to lay low, with my very self and will bowed low to the ground in trust and humility before the Master.
Jesus, be my portion, Jesus, be my King. Lover of souls I am giving you all I have, because all that I need I will find at Your feet.

"The disposition to leave the dearest objects of our hearts in the sublime keeping of the general and unspecific belief that God is now answering our prayers in His own time and way and in the best manner, involves a present process of inward crucifixion which is obviously unfavorable to the growth and even the existence of the life of self." T.C. Upham

w.a.c.o. - when a city opens

I went walking around my neighboorhood today because I felt like God said I should do that and as I did I was really surprised by the things that He opened my eyes to that I hadn't had eyes to see before. It was like my city was opened up to me a little more... here are some pictures



I drive by this building everyday and never noticed before how cool it is!





you can't really understand how small and random this house is...does anyone live in it? who knows....


Ironically, this was right across the street from this...



Isn't she beautiful...


spring in Waco and not just on campus is pretty great


this is on neighbor's front porch... you see a lot of signs like this everywhere

Well, I guess I'll leave you with this..

I LOVE WACO!!!

Jodi's Wedding

I love my married friends



Isn't she beautiful!


Get DOWN!


This is my date... he is sideways, I couldn't fix it?

My Love Hasn't Grown Cold

or has it... ?
I have been reflecting lately on who I have become and how I got here. I have a word document that is 26 pages of poems and other things I have written over the last 4 years. I was surprised by the life and passion that I remembered through those words I once wrote. This is something I wrote almost 2 years ago:
May 3, 2005
Thirsty
*Psalm34:8-9, Psalm36:5-9
I could never fathom the depths of my soul or drink deeply enough from the world’s riches to be full.
I never imagined the fullness of life that dwells inside me existed before…
But one taste – one drop, and the expanse of my soul opened up to all glory in heaven and on the earth.
To taste the goodness of My Lord flowing from the river of delight will forever confound me.
Where there once was arid desert, there now is a deep spring of life that continually brings restoration to my entire being.
I thirst, Jesus I thirst… but no longer am I quenched by fleshly desires that wage war against my soul.
My thirst is for You, my King, for holiness, for home – and it is precisely because I have tasted and been filled that I will return daily, parched for more of You.
Not because You are not enough to satisfy, but because the deeper I drink from Your fountain and of Your life, the more of me there is to fill.
Thank you Jesus, for the times in the desert that teach me to be thirsty – come now and flood the depths I didn’t even know I had.

I haven't thirsted like this in a really long time. I feel like I have been in this place of just kind of orbiting around not fully engaged or at rest either. There are parts of me that have grown a lot and a lot of healing that has happened - but I miss the purity of my devotion to Jesus that I once aimed for. I got lost in the 'duties' and forgot how to 'be'. It is hard to be passionate about Jesus alone, I feel like it is easy to get misdirected - to be passionate about the marginalized, the lost, or community and miss Jesus. My life has felt very about Jesus and not very with Jesus lately. There's this very Nora Jonesy sounding song by Bethany Dillion called 'My love hasn't grown cold', it has been a good reminder of the steadfast and unchanging love of God because that is hard for me to understand when I don't love anyone like that.

"Oh My love it does not tire or wane like the moon and all the times when you feel lost oh low and behold my love hasn't grown cold for you. You could steal away in the middle of the night and hide in the light of day while you cloak yourself in the darkest light but oh my love, it swims in the deepest oceans of fear and as soon as you look ahead, I am here. If only you could see how heaven stands when you speak and oh they dance and I have wrapped you in mystery and oh my love for you is as wide as the galaxies just hold out your hand and close your eyes, come, come be with me"

I want to be be with Jesus again and have it not be about anyone or anything else. Ask me how this is going? =o)

haha

So, after I wrote that last post work was cancelled again due to lots of ice. So, my roommates and I went to the bridge on the end of our street and slid down it. now this is a rather large bridge - it goes across I - 35, so that is 6 lanes of traffic and access roads. We actually made it on the news because some station saw us sliding down the bridge on frisbees and thought it was funny. Here's how it worked, we got a bunch of guys to huddle around the bottom and then a few people would go to the top of the bridge and you would sit on the frisbee with your knees pulled up and then the other people would push you down the ramp and by the time you picked up lots of speed and were going really fast you would crash into the group of people at the bottom to stop you from flowing onto 35. It was REALLY fun!!! Here are some pics of the event:



This is Megan, me, and Ann



This is Meg and AB racing down the ramp ice skater style - I think AB won



Ryan came fully prepared to injur himself - he even put a frisbee under each foot and skated down!

burrrrr

It is funny how we (meaning Texans) don't know what to do when it freezes. Work was cancelled yesterday and then I got to come in late and leave early today. I find myself getting in the car and then screaming until I warm up - usually takes about a minute. When I was going to school in Turkey I lived at the bottom of a HUGE hill and even when it snowed and iced and sleeted they didn't cancel class AND the school was located on the bottom of a rather large hill. I would wake up, look out the window and cancel class myself because I was too wussy to brave the hills. I called my sister who is up in PA right now - nope, she still had to work. I love Texas, really I do. I think we are pretty funny. Like yesterday my roommates got big tupperware lids and tried to slide down a bridge and then when that didn't work they watered the marina hill and waited for it to freeze so they could slide down it - also, didn't work. But we're funny huh?

Recent Pictures

This was on our birthday, we took Walker/Dunbar family pictures with my step- family. These are my step bros and their families.


We spent new year's on a ranch - I love Texas.


This is me and my sister and my mom. I love this picture!



My sister and I got matching tatoos the day after Christmas. It hurt, but it was one of the things on my list of 'things to do in life'.