i love you mom

Thanks for coming to visit me! I am glad it snowed for you, even if it was cold. Thanks for all the ways you support and love me. I am really thankful for you, even when I am kind of a jerk... I love you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FIFE!

Happy Birthday to my favorite ball of Korean goodness! Michelle, as I have grown in appreciation for and knowlege of the depth of your amazingness I thought I would tell you some more things that I love about you....

-I love your tenderness and the way you feel things deeply
- I love your incredible multi-tasking abilities, truly, I've never seen anyone else do it quite like you. Not even my computer.
- I love your responsiveness to God and the way that you fight through things for the sake of holiness
- I love how you have learned to listen and respond from the heart of God and not your own thoughts
- I love that you are always thinking about how your choices are going to affect other people, this proves your heart of service and commitment to loving others.
- I love that I could compose a novel strictly of lists that you have made for me to help me do things
- I love your technology skills, they are totally hot on you and not at all nerdy.
- I love that you are a pusher and not only do you push yourself to get through things but you push others to endurance as well.
- I love that you often bring out the best version of myself
- I love how you make me laugh, 'you are soooooo funny, you make me want to laugh'
- I love how you quote movies at just the oportune moment
- I love the freedom I have seen in your life over the last few years that comes only from knowing and trusting Jesus more!

I love you so much Michelle and my life has been so greatly impacted by who you are and the way you have shared your life with me. I hope you have a great day and know that you are - forever, my fife 4-life.

hard week...

It has been a hard week. It doesn't feel like it is over yet, but I am still standing and can feel hope, so that is good.
I've been reading this book in preparation for Easter called 'The Day Christ Died' and it is this hour by hour account of the last day of his life. The guy who wrote it did a ton of research so as to be as accurate as possible but puts it in the form of a narrative. It has been very meaningful for me as I myself, on a much smaller scale, am exeriencing some of these same emotions and thoughts. I read this the other day
- You have multiplied, O Lord, my God your wonderous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you!... I desire to do you will, O My God; your law is within my heart... my iniquities have overtaken me, and I cannot see; they are more than the hairs of my head; my heart fails me... as for me I am poor and needy but the Lord takes thought for me. You are my help and my deliverer do not delay o My God! Psalm 40

There's this great line from the book I'm reading 'when lightning flashes and thunder rolls the sheep look not at the sky but at the shepherd.'

With Hope... Erin

HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY JEFFREY!

Tomorrow is Jeff's 24th birthday and I won't be around a computer to post this so I thought I would do it a day early.

I photoshoped this picture of Jeff to make him look really cool ... not that he doesn't look cool without the purple haze.
Some things I love about Jeff...
(in no particular order)
- he laughs really hard at things that aren't that funny
- he cares for people and serves them so well
- he can build anything... blindfolded
- he is moldable when he chooses to be
- he doesn't know every word to ANY song, but sings them all anyway
- he is the only person I can tolerate going to the store with
- he's got that manlyness with the hairy chest thing down
- if he had a loyalty contest with a golden retriever, I'd put my money on Jeff
- he is usually pretty quick to repent and make peace
- he is great at freely loving people and letting them know he cares
- he trusts God in a very childlike way

there are a lot more things, but these are just a few on the top of my head. Happy Birthday Jeff, I hope you have a great day and feel very loved by the Lord!

Michelley

this was taken at this wicked awesome burger place called 'spankeys' or 'hankeys' or 'hgakgka;gys' I can't remember now. And for the record I've never actually spoken the phrase 'wicked awesome' but I do like it in writing


you only get to be this cute if you are Korean... bummer for the rest of us

Current Theme Song

The Hammer Holds

A shapeless piece of steel, that's all I claim to be
This hammer pounds to give me form, this flame, it melts my dreams
I glow with fire and fury, as I'm twisted like a vine
My final shape, my final form I'm sure I'm bound to find

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

And the water, it cools me gray, and the hurt's subdued somehow
I have my shape, this sharpened point, what is my purpose now?
And the question still remains, what am I to be?
Perhaps some perfect piece of art displayed for all to see

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

The hammer pounds again, but flames I do not feel
This force that drives me, helplessly, through flesh, and wood reveals
A burn that burns much deeper, it's more than I can stand
The reason for my life was to take the life of a guiltless man

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the pain
And hurt a little, hurt for me, my future is so bold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

This task before me may seem unclear
But it, my maker holds

- Bebo Norman

Sometimes someone else can say the things that are nearest to our hearts so much better than we could ever articulate... or maybe that is just me. This has been my anthem lately.

At Your Feet

It is true cause I am watching it unfold right now.
Trying to save, protect and preserve my life leads only to death.
How did I get here? Who fenced me in?
I did - when I built walls to keep you out I closed myself in too.
This isn't what I wanted! Let me outta here!
There's only one way out and I'm looking at it asking 'how?'
I WANT abundant life, peace, and freedom, but at what price?
Cause the only way I see is to die.
I can't leave any room for self or I'll end up back here again trying to claw my way over these walls.
I can't do it! It's too much!
'Let it go' He says to every objection I make.
Submission - a recognition of Authority and a choice to humbly lay down under it.
That's the only way to keep the walls down -- to lay low, with my very self and will bowed low to the ground in trust and humility before the Master.
Jesus, be my portion, Jesus, be my King. Lover of souls I am giving you all I have, because all that I need I will find at Your feet.

"The disposition to leave the dearest objects of our hearts in the sublime keeping of the general and unspecific belief that God is now answering our prayers in His own time and way and in the best manner, involves a present process of inward crucifixion which is obviously unfavorable to the growth and even the existence of the life of self." T.C. Upham