America is my lullaby

I sing it every day, it seems with each passing moment I drift a little deeper into this slumber of mine.
I don't remember hearing the song, and have no idea when I began singing along... but here I find myself, deep in a slumber I can't seem to shake.
I have moments of awareness, moments where I feel alive and remember what it was like to not be so tired and lifeless, but the longer I let myself sleep the more those seem like dreams.
Maybe it is the workplace or my routine that has me constricted, maybe it is my TV that tells me what to think and what I need, maybe it is how easy and entertaining everything is, maybe it is how life never seems to slow down and I just keep waiting for a break that will never come.
But, bigger than all of these things is the fact that I don't need anything - I almost never feel actual need. I may feel desire or lust, but I don't feel real need here in America. I have everything I need X 12.
It scares me a little bit - or a lot - how easy it is to let myself drift off and it can take weeks before I realize that I haven't felt really ALIVE. I feel most alive when I am connected to the source of life - obviously. But honestly, it is difficult for me to tap into that regularly when I'm here where everything feels so comfortable and I don't need God to do anything for me, to be anyone to me, to tell me who I am.
I don't think it has to be like this, I don't have to sleepwalk through all of my days here - but it is really easy for me to do just that. I know the tune so well that it gets in my head and then if I let it the tune will get in my heart and before I know it I've just slumbered my way through another year without engaging the world around me or engaging Jesus Himself. I'm sure there will be many difficult days in Iraq where I long to be 'home', but I know that I won't be asleep, I will be watchful and alert and alive! I imagine that Iraq has a lullaby all it's own and eventually, it's tune will start to sound familiar, but I'm learning now how to choose to tune it out and sing my own song - one of life and hope and Truth. I want to be like that right now, right here, I'm just confessing that it is really hard for me to do that in America where I can auto pilot my way though life without even remembering I pressed the button.
Does anyone else hear this song or it is just my own struggle to really LIVE everyday and follow Jesus instead of just dreaming about him?