Paintings for Haydn

I've been working on painting some pictures for Haydn's room for a
couple weeks. Here is the finished product. His room will be done in
primary colors. Hopefully when we get back to Iraq we'll be able to
get the nursery more set up!

Creative Christmas Gifts

Now that the gifts have been given I can post pictures of the sets of paintings I made for family.

The first is actually a set of drawings by Picasso that I saw several years ago and I always wanted to paint.



I just think these are so cute! Kind of weird... but it is Picasso?

The others are for Stephen & Elyse. They have a brown & blue bedroom and their bedspread is kind of ivory, so I thought these would match.


I tried to rotate this twice... my computer thinks its smarter than the rotation information I give it- maybe it is.

Pics from MEW at UMHB

We had a good time last week hanging out with students at Mary Hardin Baylor and telling them about the work we will be doing in Iraq and what is currently going on with The Preemptive Love Coalition.


This is a canvas I made for the event to showcase some of the latest stuff from our website.

The following are pics of pinwheels our sunday school class help make for the event. PLC has a new Pinwheels program to help advocate for these kids in Iraq and give people some really tangible ways to get involved. Did you know that most of these 3000+ Iraqi children in need of heart surgery aren't even strong enough to blow a pinwheel? So, if you can blow a pinwheel then you can make a pinwheel, sell a pinwheel, get a bunch of people together to make and sell or showcase pinwheels on behalf of these kids who need our help!


Aren't these fun?!



This is us at our booth for the ACT Now event

If you don't have a buy shoes. save lives or preemptive love T-shirt yet, the new V-necks are on the website and they're pretty awesome!

Art * Music * Justice

Last night Jeff & I had the opportunity to attend the final night of the Art. Music. Justice tour in The Woodlands. The proceeds from the event benefited the International Justice Mission and the World Hunger Relief. It was an incredible night of worshiping with some of my favorite artists and hearing about what is going on around the world and how to get involved. It was a really renewing time that made me feel really alive! I think in America it is easy to hide or insulate ourselves from the realities of the rest of the world, sometimes even things that are happening in our own backyards. It is really good for me to be confronted with these things - poverty, famine, slavery, sex trafficking of children, orphans, widows, the hopeless, women and children dying of AIDS, or 3000 + Iraqi children waiting for a heart surgery or death. I know it seems like a paradox, but these things make me feel ALIVE. I was telling Jeff last night through tears about how THIS is what we were made for, this is what it means to be human. It is to LOVE, to show COMPASSION, to give ourselves away to the broken. I was so challenged by these songwriters who sung about how 'No amount of green, gold or silver will replace the peace of God." It is so easy for me to hedge myself and begin to believe that it really is about the stock market and my future retirement, or it's about feeling good, or it's about my family, or maybe it's about power and wealth. That's not how God made us! Over and over throughout scripture we are exhorted to:
"Give counsel, grant justice, make your shade like night at the height of noon, shelter the outcasts, do not reveal the fugitive. Let the outcasts of Moab sojourn among you, be a shelter to them from the destroyer. When the oppressor is no more and destruction has ceased and he who tramples underfoot has vanished from the land, then a throne will be established in steadfast love." Isaiah 16:3-5 Amen and let it be!
I was challenged with the question of To what end have you groomed your personal walk with God? Because the TRUTH is that we are not powerless, not in the least! Let us not become so numb to the injustice in the world that we decide it is NOT our problem, that we have no power to affect change in the world - friends, that is a lie! To every single follower of Jesus - the poor, the oppressed, the hungry, the sick, the orphaned, the dying - these are your neighbors and we have been called to action:
'For by grace you have been saved though faith. And this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we SHOULD walk in them.' Ephesians 2:8-9
Not only do we have the promise of God that these good works exist, but we have the POWER of God to accomplish them! We are not powerless! But we must be obedient, we cannot claim our money as our own, our time as our own, our very lives as our own! Most of you know that Jeff & I are moving to Northern Iraq to work with The Preemptive Love Coalition to fund heart surgeries for 3000 + Iraqi children. We are less than 3 months from our departure and you know what? We are SO grateful for this opportunity! We would not choose anything else right now - not career, not 'home', not comfort, not family, not safety. That's not because we are some strange breed of holy or anything, but it's because of the grace of God in our obedience. We decided to obey God in his command to seek justice and love mercy and to give ourselves away for the least of these - for us that means going to Iraq. And God's grace is sufficient because last night we were filled with hope for the people of Iraq and for the broken around the world. God is healing, restoring, and drawing these people to himself and we get to be a part of that - it is SUCH an honor. It is an honor to go to Iraq and speak peace in the midst of violence, hatred, oppression, it is an honor to follow Jesus there.
All of the evil in the world, it is not a burden, it is not a burden to go with Jesus there and bring light and hope and freedom! Don't believe the lie that you can't do anything, that God can't use you, that the evil cannot be overcome - TAKE HEART Jesus already overcame the world! We have nothing to fear, and we have no excuses. Christian, you have no excuse. I have no excuse. We must respond, how will you respond?

Restless

That has been my life... our life for the last month or so. It is not that we do not like to rest, it is just that there is no time for it, or we are not making the time for it. Anyway, this restlessness is spilling over into all areas of my life and kind of driving me crazy. Even when I should be able to rest - like last night in bed - I couldn't make myself slow down to go to sleep. So, I got about 2 hours of sleep last night - I'm TIRED.
It was good to be in Oklahoma and say 'good bye' to my grandparent's house. We got everything ready for the estate sale next month and even had some people come by and look at the house. It was sad and yet it felt good to make some time to remember. I spent time in each room of the house just remembering... remembering my Papa in the kitchen always pretending like he was going to eat a bite of whatever I was eating for breakfast. Remembering sitting by the fire in the living room watching our grandparents open presents we got them for Christmas - only it would take them like 11 minutes to open each present! =o) Remembering sitting outside on the swing in the summer drinking root beer floats with my grandma and Elyse. There are so many memories there and it was nice to end on that note. When they were still living I used to DREAD going to see them because it was so hard to see them in so much pain. It seemed like they were just these old, broken relics of who they used to be - and I don't want to remember them like that. Doing all that reflecting helped me realize that I don't want to be going so hard and always thinking forward that I don't take the time to enjoy what is before me in the present - restless.
We drove the U-haul last night back to Dallas and driving through the rolling hills of Oklahoma for probably the last time for a while I was just thinking about why I can't seem to find rest lately. It isn't because I'm working and busy, it isn't because Jeff is gone (to Arizona for candidate school), it isn't because I'm living in Bedford, and it isn't because there's a lot going on ... it is because I've been dwelling in the 'far country'. I've been reading this book by Henri Nouwen (one of the GREATEST writers on the human condition and Jesus) called 'The return of the prodigal son'. It is about Nouwen's own journey as inspired by the famous painting by Rembrandt.

Nouwen was a professor at Harvard, a preist and scholar when God called him to quit his position at the college move to a home for the mentally handicapped and minister there. He talks about this transition and how difficult it was for him and the ways he let his insecurity lead him into the 'far country' just like the prodigal son - in search of worldly things to fill him. As he described this time for him something in my heart tightened and I knew - 'that is me, that is why I feel so restless.' Nouwen went to see this painting in St. Petersburg and spent 4 hours just sitting there looking at it, seeing the way different light changed the images, and gaining a true understanding of what it means to be the Beloved. See, we can find rest in the midst of business, stress, transition, etc. if we make our home with Christ as he has made his home in us. But that is hard to do when I am always leaving. I am constantly looking for you to love me, for Jeff to be pleased with me, to know that you (world) think I'm worthy, and everytime I turn my gaze to the world and I allow my heart to go after those things - I leave my Father. I scorn the home God has made for me, take of the cloak of identity he has given me and find myself restlessly orbiting the world insecure and unable to make a home anywhere. I need to go Home. Recognizing this and identifying the source of my restlessness does not solve the problem - I need to run and fall at my Father's feet regardless of the consequences, to humiliate myself in all of my filth and failure and go home. I just needed to process all of this - to admit my restlessness and return. I am the Beloved - and so are you.
That's all... and if you like to read (and even if you don't) you should go pick up this book by Henri Nouwen - other recommendations of books he's written are: Life of the Beloved, In the Name of Jesus, and The Way of the Heart. You can't go wrong with any of his books - but these are some of my favorite.

Living room paintings

Well, they are finally done! They didn't turn out like I was imagining, but I think I like them - except for the green one. I'm still debating on re-doing it. Soon to come - apartment pictures...


These are the built in shelves in the living room .... I'll try and take pictures next week, cause we are gonna be in WACO all weekend!!! woo woo!!! I'm so ready to see my friends!

love dance

I saw this painting online a few months ago and decided I wanted to paint it for our bedroom. It didn't turn out like I thought that it would, but I think I still like it.

good weekend

I just had a really great weekend! But not the kind that makes me dread going to work tomorrow, the kind that makes me excited about moving forward and leaves me feeling refreshed and happy. There wasn't anything eventful about it really, it was just what I needed. On Friday we made dinner and watched Michael Clayton, it is a pretty good movie. And as usual I went to bed early on Friday - I'm alway so tired at the end of the week! I woke up early Saturday because I can't help it and went to go work out at the place in the apartment complex. I worked out way longer than usual because the Obama vs. Clinton debate was on TV and I was intrigued. Then Jeff woke up and we made breakfast and watched the final episodes of season 1 of 24. I decided I don't really like that show, but that's another story. Then I got ready and made a casserole and fruit salad and Jeff made brownie pie and we went to hang out with the soon to be Mr. & Mrs. Ryan McCrady (they are getting married in 3 weeks!). Ryan grilled these massive steaks on the grill - it was INCREDIBLE! Oh yeah! .... sidenote: funny story of Saturday. So, Jeff is in the shower and I'm just picking up around the apartment and I sneezed really loudly and he thought I was screaming so he jumps out the shower with soap all over his face and hair and runs into the bedroom (where I am) and is like 'WHAT'S WRONG?!'... I can't figure out why he thinks I'm hurt so I'm just staring at him and then I realized he thought I was yelling and we laughed hysterically and he got back in the shower. Then today was pretty relaxed, I decided I wanted to paint some pictures for our living room, so I did that while Jeff was watching his mandatory defensive driving video. sidenote: all weekend Jeff was giving me random driving facts like, 'Did you know that there are 18 million vehicles registered in the state of Texas?'. So, I painted a picture, it will be the first of three for the living room, here it is:

We also went for a walk today, because the weather was BEAUTIFUL! While we were walking we found this old softball field and I was reminding Jeff of how we used to go play softball after school just for fun. We ended up going back to the apt and getting bats and gloves and going to the store to buy some balls. We went back to the field and had so much fun playing catch and hitting, or swinging if you are me. =o)
Tonight I was just relaxing and thinking about how happiness is a choice. This isn't anything revolutionary, it is just easy for me to allow myself to become a victim of my circumstances and not CHOOSE my attitude. I'm really happy this weekend and excited about my job, going to First Baptist Arlington, meeting new people, being a wife and building our life together. AND I got my haircut last week! It's not a 'cute married haircut' (case in point: Chelsea) but it is shorter than it has been, and I have a new love/hate relationship with my bangs. Here's a picture of the hair:

Jeff is cracking me up, he is sitting here talking defensive driving, 'Did you know Texas has the most bridges in the United States?...WOW, there are 301,000 miles of roads in Texas.'

A History of Oppression, A Legacy of Hope

This is a painting I did for the Global Celebration at Woodway this week. It is about the Kurds of Northern Iraq. The theme is in the title of this post. The idea is this: the Kurds have endured a lot of pain, horror, war, and terror in their history. The left side of the painting shows the darkness, pain, blood, and struggle they endured. The pictures on the canvas were taken by Cody Fisher (Michelle's boyfriend...smile). Cody even went on assignment and took a picture of a statue in the city, that is the pic in the middle of the canvas. The pictures were all printed on fabric and then attached to the canvas so they didn't come out as clear as I had hoped but wanted to add a consistent texture to the work. The picture on the top left is of one of the weapons left at the 'Red Prison' in Northern Iraq - you can see the prison in the background. It is one of the largest prisons he built while he was in power and hundreds of thousands of Kurds were murdered there. The second picture is of Aras, one of the children in need of a heart surgery. While Aras is receiving funding that will hopefully lead to a successful surgery, there are still thousands of children who are dying because of a lack of medical care available in Iraq (re: www.buyshoessavelives.com). The tree in the painting is there because I wanted to link the two sides, oppression and hope are not independent - they usually work together. Part of the beauty of the Kurdish people, their brokenness and openness lies in their pain ... but there is so much hope on the horizon. The right side of the painting is slightly larger than the left, because there is always more hope than oppression - because of Jesus. The statue in the middle is of a woman who had shackles binding her arms but she has her arms over her head and it is as if she has just broken the chains of oppression! I love this statue, it is a constant reminder that even in dark places in the world Jesus still wants to bring freedom to the captive and has asked us to do the same. The pictures on the right side are more hopeful. The one on the top is of a bunch of children, I think they are refugees living in a camp that Cody visited. The bottom was not taken by Cody, but a friend of his and it is this older couple and on the wall behind them there is a heart that says 'luv' in it.
There are a lot of things I would love to tell people about the Kurds. They have a history certainly... but they also have a legacy, and it is my prayer that it will be full of hope, love, and Life in Jesus Christ!

The World

I've been praying about the world and the things going on the world a lot lately. I've been asking God to show me His heart and give me that same heart. I tend to get so riled up about world happenings that I can't see things with spiritual eyes and all I see is injustice and it makes me real angry. Anyway, this week it was cool to finally connect with God's heart and just find rest in claiming His ultimate justice and infinite understanding, because seriously... I just don't get it. Here is some Scripture that really helped me understand who God is in the world:
The Lord brings the counsel of the nations to nothing; he frustrates the plans of the peoples. the counsel of the Lord stands forever, the plans of His heart to all generations... the Lord looks down from heaven; he sees all the children of man, from where he sits enthroned he looks out on all the inhabitants of the earth he who fashions the hearts of them all and observes all their deeds. The king is not saved by his great army; a warrior is not delivered by his great strength. The war horse is a false hope for salvation and by its great might it cannot rescue ... our soul waits for the Lord he is out hope and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you. Psalm 33:10-11, 13-22.

The picture is a painting I did this summer as just an expression of where God was directing my heart and thoughts and the things I know that He loves and cares about. Sooooo... there ya go

This is maybe my favorite picture of Jesus on the cross. I think it captures the horror and hope of this day well. 

Last Judgment

So....
I saw this painting the other day and I can't get it out of my head, I even dreamt about it the other night. Now, I am not entirely sure what that means but here is the background on the painting. It is called Last Judgment by: Michelangelo Buonarroti. It was painted on the altar wall of the Sistine Chapel and is composed of hundreds of figures (mostly nude) and it is kind of a 'war of the worlds' feel. You can see people being dragged down into Hell by gleeful demons and it's just really powerful and unsettling at the same time. I heard from a few friends this week who are spending their lives to proclaim the great news of the gospel to the world. It is hard sometimes, Paul didn't write letters to the believers in the early church because he had a lot of free time, but because he knew that the believers desperately needed encouragement and exhortation to press on -- I don't think that those striving to follow Jesus today should expect any less.
Anyway, I was praying for my friends who are struggling, reflecting on my current lifestyle, and thinking about the reality of hell depicted so graphically in this painting and here is what I wrote in my journal....

As I am surrounded by suburbia and that lifestyle I can't help but think of what a lie it is. I see all these people (not all of them I realize) so inward focused and looking for something bigger than themeslves by making yard contests, getting nicer things, and building probably unhealthy relationships with pets instead of neighbors. But the truly tragic thing is that it looks really good -- like, I think 'that's nice', or 'good for you,' but really if there's nothing bigger than the house you build or the neighborhood you can wall yourself up in-- than what is the point? Having a family isn't even the point, raising kids well isn't the point. We are missing the God of the Universe because He's not in the suburbs... I don't mean to say that God is absent but rather that if suburbia is the whole of life than I would venture to say that we're missing out on other ways to experience God that isn't going to happen in the suburbs. It's not even that these people don't know and love Him -- but if that is it and the story of our lives isn't about making God look great, than all we have magnified in this life is ourselves or maybe our families -- but that doesn't say much about the Savior and Light of the World. It is such a trap and so much of me still wants to hold on to it like it is enough.
To those who have left this life behind in order to be obeidient to the call...
"Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus...Let us keep living by that same standard to which we have attained." Philippians3:12-16

I rejoice with you that you have counted it all trash for the sake of knowing Him and making Him known, may you be refuelled today, I love you brothers and sisters!

These lyrics gave words to the struggle going on in my soul as I prayed for you all and fought this within myself...

"What looks like failure is success, what looks like poverty is riches, when what is True looks more like a lie, it looks like you're killing me but you're saving my life."
" I give myself to what looks like love, and I sell myself for what feels like love and I've paid again for what is not love and all just because, I see things upside down. "
" What looks like weakness can do anything, what looks likes foolishness is understanding, when what is powerful did not come to fight, it looks like you're going to war but you lay down your life. What looks like torture is a time to rejoice, what sounds like thunder is a comforting voice when what is beautiful looks broken and crushed and I say I don't know you but you say its finished." -Derek Webb

Meet Mehmet... he likes nescafe 3 in 1

So... I took this painting class this past semester at Bogazici. It was WAY fun.... and entirely in another langauge -- and for me art was pretty much already a foreign language. It was really fun though and I learned that I really like art and painting is relaxing for me. So, this was my semester project and it was on display for 2 weeks at the Bogazici art exhibition in May. It's called 'Turkish Cafe' -- I know, real orginal ... the guy sitting with the coffee -- his name is Mehmet he goes to that Cafe every day and never sits in the yellow chair!...I know, don't ask me why, you'd have to ask Mehmet. I hadn't varnished the painting yet when this picture was taken so it's all shiny and then not shiny. It has since been varnished and looks better in person. So, that's it -- Turkish Cafe, oil on canvas ... we'll start the bidding at 1 million (lira that is).